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  • Do people choose to be depressed?
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Living with depression

Do people choose to be depressed?

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avatar rollingstone1

rollingstone1

07/12/2023 at 2:13 PM

avatar rollingstone1

rollingstone1

Last activity on 07/12/2023 at 5:58 PM

Joined in 2023


1 comment posted | 1 in the Living with depression group


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Hey yall I hope you guys don't judge me for this question, because I really wanted to understand depression better so I could be a better friend.

Overall I don't struggle with depression. Of course, I have good and bad days but nothing extraordinary tbh.

My best friend tried to commit suicide because of depression two weeks ago. Both of us are in our late 30s. She has a great marriage, her husband makes a lot of money, they travel, live in a beautiful house and overall it looks like her life is a dream. I am still single and struggle with making ends meet on the other hand. I always thought she was very happy. Until a few months ago she started telling me that sometimes she wishes she didn't exist. She said that maybe it would be better for everyone like that. I tried to reassure her that she is the best and we all love her and then boom.. I get a call saying she is in the ER after a failed suicide attempt. How is this possible? Am I a bad friend for not noticing? Can you be depressed if you have everything? It's so hard for me to understand. Help!

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avatar Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

07/13/2023 at 4:10 AM

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avatar Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

Last activity on 07/06/2025 at 5:41 PM

Joined in 2020


237 comments posted | 56 in the Living with depression group

14 of their responses were helpful to members


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Hi. @rollingstone1. Thx for comments. I, for 1, don't think u are a bad friend. Yikes, about your friend almost taking her life!! I can relate, having debilitating depression during winter ( SAD). Summer is much brighter, no pun intended. I, wouldn't believe anyone would "choose" to be depressed, given how I feel. I've tried committing suicide a few times too, yet I'm still here. I wonder what my purpose is in life ( also single) by choice. Been proposed to twice, both I've declined. Depression is not merely skin deep, it invades your entire being. I gather u Can have it all, & still feel depressed. I'd almost call it feeling unworthy. That's how hard it can seem. I take antidepressants every day, have a therapist, psychiatrist, have had group therapy, even shock treatments. The latter works best for me. However, they can leave u experiencing memory loss, & other symptoms I don't know about. Google ECT, it's not pretty, But, it's also not like One Flew Over the Coocoos Nest. I don't know if I've helped explain what depression is or feels like, as I believe 1 has to truly go thru an event before fully understanding it. Been despondent my entire adult life, & know I had symptoms as a kid. My memory is failing due to age, & I apologize if any of this is misunderstood. I tried my best. That's my experience with depression.

Try to keep in touch with your friend. She may not have lots of additional support. And, a big thing I learned is, just listening can help. Good luck.

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Peggy Erickson


Do people choose to be depressed? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-depression/do-people-choose-to-be-depressed-5370 2023-07-13 04:10:18

avatar asaan32

asaan32

06/18/2024 at 2:59 PM

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avatar asaan32

asaan32

Last activity on 07/10/2025 at 12:36 PM

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32 comments posted | 15 in the Living with depression group

3 of their responses were helpful to members


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First off, I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'm glad your friend is getting help. Depression doesn't care about how perfect someone's life looks on the outside. It’s a real, deep, and often invisible struggle. You’re not a bad friend at all; sometimes people hide their pain really well.


Do people choose to be depressed? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-depression/do-people-choose-to-be-depressed-5370 2024-06-18 14:59:07

avatar melodypreference

melodypreference

Edited on 08/14/2024 at 4:27 PM

avatar melodypreference

melodypreference

Last activity on 09/11/2024 at 12:32 PM

Joined in 2024


4 comments posted | 1 in the Living with depression group


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I'm really sorry to hear about your friend's situation. It's understandable that you’re feeling confused and concerned. Depression doesn’t always align with external appearances, and it’s not uncommon for someone who seems to have a perfect life to struggle with deep internal pain.
[This content has been moderated by an administrator for violating Carenity’s Terms of Use.]


Do people choose to be depressed? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-depression/do-people-choose-to-be-depressed-5370 2024-08-13 10:13:02

avatar Somya.P

Somya.P

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09/16/2024 at 9:39 AM

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avatar Somya.P

Somya.P

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Last activity on 07/10/2025 at 12:23 PM

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662 comments posted | 29 in the Living with depression group

22 of their responses were helpful to members


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Hello everyone,

How are you doing today?

I know this is such a sensitive topic, but if anyone has gone through something similar, either personally or with a loved one, I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences.

How did you navigate supporting someone with depression? What helped you understand it better?

@Lidia36 @Kianhu @Sheilabdc72 @Bridgette06 @Pooh78 @kingless @Sweetbetty @StilltheColonelsdaughter @Jesalyn999 @Chall042364 @Goober @Margaloflew @christina0987 @Cattlady @Jenn12016 @Marysmith @paula147 @jaws8286 @lazyacres @harphappy @Pcox02004 @itz_nevaehvaeh @LucyDe @Anchorwoman @jodycharter @Trace24 @JOE12!K @Midnightsun @AJW1999 @Millerkmm @LisaNM @ajongsees @Hollyt @Hungerygirl58 @Mainechick911 @Tianpler @Aliciam02 @kcollier6517yahoo.com @Omerfarooq @Lillyrose @rollingstone1 @evaclose2 @Chelsmarie89 @nancyjo @Tazrak77 @Okas11 @Alien67 @mchristenson2088 @VHouck68 @Thunter 

This is such a complex issue, and your insights might help others in the community who are facing similar situations. Please feel free to share, and let's keep this a safe and supportive space for everyone. 💬💙

Take care now,

Somya from the Carenity team 🌼

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Somya from the Carenity team


Do people choose to be depressed? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-depression/do-people-choose-to-be-depressed-5370 2024-09-16 09:39:31

avatar Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

09/17/2024 at 5:14 PM

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avatar Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

Dr.WhoPeggygmail.com

Last activity on 07/06/2025 at 5:41 PM

Joined in 2020


237 comments posted | 56 in the Living with depression group

14 of their responses were helpful to members


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@rollingstone1. Hi. Oh my goodness!! Seems a lot on your plate. First, let me tell u I'm Delighted your friend didn't succeed in committing suicide. Very Dark place, indeed!!! Been there a few times, & Never want to go back. Then, 2, by no means, are u a bad person for not noticing signs of her wanting to kill herself. Sometimes, maybe, frequently, ppl don't offer direct signs, outwardly, about wanting To die. Given she mentioned "I wish I didn't exist" is quite clear. Yet, not everyone who says that does want to die. Usually it's a cry for help. So I've learned in my old age.

I wish the best for both of u. Suggestion is to lend a listening ear. Occasionally, folks just need to talk. Hugs.

See the signature

Peggy Erickson


Do people choose to be depressed? https://www.carenity.us/forum/other-discussions/living-with-depression/do-people-choose-to-be-depressed-5370 2024-09-17 17:14:09

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