Do You Feel Like It's People in Your Life?

Hello @sweetluvgurl 

How are you doing this morning? Sometimes I felt the same way when I went through a major illness and I felt like most of my friends left my side. But, I realized a lot of them just didn't know how to react and they were scared of saying the wrong thing. I actually told my best friend to not worry about saying something stupid, just be there, that's all I needed. You need to tell people clearly what you need from them, otherwise they get scared. I hope this helps.

Yankee

Sweetluvgurl, I understand more than I can say. I totally get it. I feel the same way. People are so fickle. It's not you, believe me. The fact that you can recognize when people are toxic is huge. Mny people can't see it or don't want to see it. You sound very intuitive. That will carry u through. 

Growing up i was told “Be assertive Katie. You are the only one who has control over you”   I really hate that damn saying. What a joke. Be assertive I can do. I can tell people until I’m blue in the face how I feel or how hurt I am over their actions or leave/avoid situations that will throw me into an anxiety attack or depressed funk. I can take every precaution to keep myself on a level playing field but people are the unknown variable that I can’t avoid. I feel the people around me are my #1 trigger. I can’t blame them necessarily it’s not their brain miss firing but I can hold them accountable for their uncaring inconsideration. My partner for instance we have been together for 9 years. You think by now she would get it. But instead I feel like she just doesn’t care that her actions have hurt me in such away that I don’t want to live anymore.. I just don’t. And I can’t put my happiness on her or anyone but when you say and do things you KNOW will hurt me i just don’t want to fight for this life anymore. The one person who is supposed to have your back just keeps stabbing you in it. And then they think their opinion means something when it comes to wether I live or don’t. It’s like you help put me in this hole. But yeah your opinion matters.  

I completely understand how you feel. This shit sucks but I’m here if you need to talk/ vent. 

Why is is that someone (mother) talk to you for 2 minutes and make you feel like you are  absolutely worthless? I do what I can to make he happy, walk on eggshells, all that stuff. It still happens....

I dont think the ones out their that haven't been through any type of depression or anxiety understand what any of us feel like inside. 

@sweetluvgurl‍ Yes, I feel the same way. IDK about friends because I don’t share very much with them, but with family. They will be absent from your life, refuse to spend time with you, then when you hit rock bottom they have criticism for how you handle your pain. Then only thing I can think to do is walk away. If anyone is going to support me, it’s going to have to be just me.