I feel empty

I feel empty. My everyday life always leaves me with a feeling of dissatisfaction to the point that I can no longer get any pleasure out of doing the things I use to love doing.  Sooner or later I end up getting bored out of yet another thing and I get to thinking that it's all just meaningless. Right now as I write this thankfully I'm not down stuck in a funk like I usually be. But when I am it's like I just want to go isolate I'm a cold a d dark place and be away from everyone. I've been a drug addict and an alcoholic for about 16 years now and although in denial at first now I seriously am starting to think that the drugs and alcohol have really messed me up. Honestly I think I've lost it. I just don't have the same drive to live that I had before I started using. Now I go through my days just wanting everything to be over with just so I can go a be by myself and so nothing. Every day at the end of the day I always feel the same way. I feel like I've messed up my life and that it's too messed up to be fixed. I'm 32  years old and half of the lifetime that I have lived I have wasted it away using drugs and drinking to numb feelings that I don't know how to cope with.