I feel like I am in prison.....

I have been married for almost 15 years.  We have 2 adopted children 12 and 9.  My husband doesn't have a proper job, he owns an Agricultural business that he supplements with money from a trust left to him by his parents.  I work a full time job with hours from 3am to noon.  My hours are so drastic because we decided to move away from where my work office is.  I have to maintain the hours of where my work office is.

Because of the work my husband does there is not a steady income.  I have made some not so good decisions to help him get his business going and to help renovate the house we live in and the house on his farm.  Because of this I carry a huge debt and entered a debt program that is helping me get it taken care of. 

My husband is not so nice a person to me and the kids.  He is not physical nor has he ever hurt any of us physically, but the mental abuse the 3 of us take on a daily basis keeps me buried in a pit of despair and depression.  I feel there is no way out of this huge bottomless pit I am living in.

I can't leave as I can't even afford anything.  I have no where to go here.  I don't know anyone that well.  All my friends are his friends too so I can't go to them.  I can't go to the church because he is on the security team and is thought of more.  I have stopped attending because I can't keep hidden behind the mask anymore. 

I feel lost and can't find anything or anyway to change things.