How can I deal with grief and suicidal thoughts?

@Please  Hello my dear. I'm sorry for your loss of your aunt and grandmother.  I understand that you never had time to grieve and may have took too much on by yourself. I don't know how old you are or your sister. Your blessed to have a sister as some people don't have one. What it sounds like you need to do is get away for awhile. Even if its a road trip, but go somewhere else for a few days. I'm not sure where you live or what's your situation is with respect to travel.

I'm also not sure what are our dreams or aspirations, but everyone wants something greater and better than where they are right now. Find that dream and hold on to it because you are not defined by your circumstances your surroundings, where you live, who your friends are or what anybody tells you! My apologies, but I think this is the perfect segue to a discussion of slavery.  Frederick Douglass was a person born into Slavery long before you and I were even a thought. I'm sure you may have heard about him. He was born in the 1800's in the USA in Maryland. He endured harsh circumstances  and was separated from his mother while never knowing his father. He thought of how to make his life better even under dire circumstances. He never gave up even under whippings and the beatings he endured. He later on escaped to NY, changed his name and got married. He went on to be one of the most prolific authors and public speakers of 19th century. He wrote several books about his experience. That might even be you!

One may ask how does a story about something that happened over 200 years ago matter today. It  is much relevant as it outlines someone's struggle even under dire circumstances and speaks volumes about the person's tenacity to never give up. I say if Frederic Douglass didn't give up, I tell you and your sister to never give up on life. There's so much in life you have to offer and gain and I'm not talking about money. Life's riches are family, good friends and God! I hope these words finds your heart and encourages you to move on to better and brighter thoughts. I'll stop here for now. I hope you feel better... Joe

Were do you go to talk

@hittites99 @Whyme224 Hello, thank you both for your words of support.

@Please‍ Hello Please, I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Grieving is a difficult process, and being bullied on top of that must not make it easier. The community is here to support you. Sometimes talking through how you feel can really be helpful. Do you have anyone in your life you can talk to, or do you feel comfortable talking more with us here?

If you still feel like you can't deal with these feelings any longer, please reach out for help. These are two toll-free numbers that are available 24/7 if you need to talk to someone right away:

1-800-273-8255

or if you don't want to talk over the phone and are okay with texting, send HOME to 741741, 85258, or 686868.

Take care,

Courtney