Borderline personality disorder: Share your story!

OK so I am not sure when this diagnosis came about for me but it did and now I am totally interested in your guys opinion of the subject. So to start what little research I've done on the subject the general basis is it's a diagnosis for people who have a hard time maintaining long term relationships. Well that is totally me. On a more specific note it means that I just really have some hyper intense emotions. Such as when I love I love more then ordinary people and the same is true as when I am hurting. SO I am actually thinking this may be the route of most of my problems which is why maybe medication does not help too much with me. It's true though every break-up I have gone thru has seemed like the end of the world really. Like I seriously wanted to die every time I lost a love. And every woman I have been with has only cared a small portion to the amount I have cared for them. For example I actually feel pleasure as I am causing them pleasure from hours of straight body massage to other things I am not sure I am allowed to talk about here. Yet 3 hours into it my hands may be on complete fire but so is my heart so I keep going loving every minute of it. But not just that but I think I have so much love in my heart for them I can actually channel it thru my hands making the experience that much more intense for them but yet what I get back in return is such a sad small little portion so I have stopped. But I mean I have the ability to heal thru these hands of mine only guided by my heart and focusing all my my energy into making them feel better but yet when I am done I am left with but a selfish woman who is satisfied with what she got and done with me not caring how much mental and physical energy I just spent on making her feel that way again. Is it a curse? Or is it a blessing? IDK really it's still a mystery to me at this point anyways. So what's your opinion has anyone else been diagnosed with this? If so what have you found out? Please comment.

Hello @ShadowSlayerOFA‍, thank you for sharing your experience with us. I've moved your comment to this pre-existing thread about borderline personality disorder. 

We recently published another testimonial where  a member talks about the origins of her BPD, you may find it interesting: Addiction and borderline personality disorder: "I don't know where this disorder comes from but I had an unusual childhood."

Can anyone share their experience of borderline personality disorder? When were you diagnosed? What have you learned along the way in your life journey with BPD?
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Feel free to share with us here!

Take care,
Courtney

I was close to 30 when I was diagnosed with it. Its scary for me especially when I can't remember what I did and I went to the store for a few things half a mile away from apt. When I got home my husband asked where I was and i said walmart he said did you go anywhere else I said no just there. When he and our son told me I was gone for 7 hours and I thought I was only gone for about a hour. I won't hardly go out by myself.

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