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Telling patients to 'fight' cancer puts them under pressure
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whatistheissue
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whatistheissue
Last activity on 08/17/2023 at 12:26 AM
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85 comments posted | 1 in the Cancer Forum
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Thank you for sharing. I think this is true for many conditions... chronic pain, depression, etc. When people tell you to fight it, they are meaning well, but the one suffering may take it different, as a feeling of lack of empathy or sympathy.
Lee__R
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Lee__R
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Last activity on 04/03/2020 at 5:04 PM
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1,338 comments posted | 62 in the Cancer Forum
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@whatistheissue Thank you for sharing!
@AlyceMarie @runningcats @dr3amy67 @Natalie @Kzqw423 @Rosehaus @Blessed1 @denisejeanmckeon @breichart @spapach @brazie @Donmarie @Innurse @marlajf @Driver62 @Cookie7199 @KHooper @mc1440 @gary710 @cancerdad66 @Cassandra1 @Boomer1965
mc1440
mc1440
Last activity on 03/01/2019 at 1:47 AM
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9 comments posted | 7 in the Cancer Forum
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Your attitude and your feelings are affected by where you are on your cancer journey. When I am cancer free I am positive, I am happy. During my recent reoccurrence last year, I did everything I could to get better so I guess you could say I was positive but it felt like I was gritting my teeth and just struggling to get through the day at times. I resent it when they say someone "lost their battle with cancer". I agree we usually don't say that about any other diseases like kidney failure, heart disease, COPD ect. My focus is on being healthy, not fighting cancer. My life has to be more than my situation with cancer. It has to be about family, helping others and enjoying nature and music.
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mc1440
AlwaysME
AlwaysME
Last activity on 03/30/2021 at 3:52 PM
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I think it depends on the person, as for my mother she says all the time that she won't let cancer beat her. We also celebrate little victories along with the big ones. Such as when she passed the 30 month prognosis she was given! So I think each person looks at it differently but at the end it comes down to the persons will to live and not give up!
Lee__R
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Lee__R
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Last activity on 04/03/2020 at 5:04 PM
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@AlwaysME I love the idea of celebrating little victories! That seems like a great method of incorporating a good spirit. Thank you for sharing.
Lee__R
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Lee__R
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Last activity on 04/03/2020 at 5:04 PM
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1,338 comments posted | 62 in the Cancer Forum
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@mc1440 Thank you for sharing and I think that mindset is beneficial... that your life cant be just about cancer... that it has to be more than that. Thank you for sharing; I am sure someone will find your small advice very beneficial when they implement it.
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Fighting is relentless. Found out on Sept. 2015. Now getting put on oral meds. I take one day at a time it helps to talk to people in the same boat that truly understand
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@mc1440 thanks for your kind response.
Thommy
Thommy
Last activity on 03/15/2022 at 4:06 PM
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@AlwaysME sorry cant believe it cones down to having a “will to live or not “, we are talking about Cancer not a cold.
I do believe your attitude on life , your personality, can help you live a better life, with or without cancer.
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I think we should allow the patient to use the terms they want, instead of others putting words in the patients mouth.
I am surviving. I am not fighting anything, though my body is. Some days surviving is harder than others, even without me mentally fighting. For me to say I am fighting is an exhausting statement. I am an alpha personality which means I go all out in whatever I do. To fight and lose certain battles means (to me) that I must fight harder or I am inadequate for the task at hand.
For me, “surviving” is a term that takes the pressure of of me mentally, as well as relieves the pressure off of those around me who do not know exactly what to say.
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DCline3dogs
I completely understand as I don’t have anyone to talk to also. I’m a widow & I live alone. My oldest son died in 2021 & my youngest son & his family live 3 hours. My father is dead & my mother has chronic back pain & is immobile. My younger sister lives with our mother & she is going through a divorce from her husband who abandoned her. My sister doesn’t visit me, help me, call me & rarely texts me. I have various cousins, a niece & nephew that are spread out in nearby states but are hours away from me. After I told my friends I had cancer, they quit contacting me. I have learned how to be my own care giver. It has been very difficult. I’ll admit I’ve been depressed, cried a lot, felt sorry for myself but I never gave up. I prayed & read my Bible everyday. Then I found cancer groups online like this one where I could share what I was going through & got empathetic responses. That really kept me going. I hope you find someone to talk to but I highly recommend the online cancer chat groups.
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DCline3dogs
I completely understand as I don’t have anyone to talk to also. I’m a widow & I live alone. My oldest son died in 2021 & my youngest son & his family live 3 hours. My father is dead & my mother has chronic back pain & is immobile. My younger sister lives with our mother & she is going through a divorce from her husband who abandoned her. My sister doesn’t visit me, help me, call me & rarely texts me. I have various cousins, a niece & nephew that are spread out in nearby states but are hours away from me. After I told my friends I had cancer, they quit contacting me. I have learned how to be my own care giver. It has been very difficult. I’ll admit I’ve been depressed, cried a lot, felt sorry for myself but I never gave up. I prayed & read my Bible everyday. Then I found cancer groups online like this one where I could share what I was going through & got empathetic responses. That really kept me going. I hope you find someone to talk to but I highly recommend the online cancer chat groups.
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Lee__R
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Lee__R
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Last activity on 04/03/2020 at 5:04 PM
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Cancer patients should not be told to “fight” their disease because doing so puts them under “exhausting pressure”, Macmillan Cancer Support has said.
The charity warned that framing cancer in terms of a battle leaves patients feeling guilty for admitting fear and often prevents them from planning properly for their death.
Macmillan said thousands of sufferers were unnecessarily dying in hospital rather than their own home each year because of a “gulf in communication” towards the end of life. Experts last night called for a cultural change around cancer so patients no longer feel compelled to put on a brave face.
Research commissioned by the charity reveals nearly two-thirds of sufferers never talk to anyone about their fears of dying due to the pressure to see themselves as a “fighter”. Meanwhile, 28% reported feelings of guilt if they cannot stay positive about their disease.
Adrienne Betteley, an end-of-life care advisor at Macmillan, said: “We know that “battling” against cancer can help some people remain upbeat about their disease, but for others, the effort of keeping up a brave face is exhausting and unhelpful in the long-term."
The report said the pressure to stay positive and support people to “fight” cancer was one of the biggest barriers to holding conversations about dying, even in patients who had already received a terminal diagnosis.
“We need to let people define their own experiences without using language that might create a barrier to vital conversations about dying,” said Ms Betteley. “For health and social care professionals, there is often a fear that the person is not ready to talk about dying. We know, however, that making plans while receiving treatment allows people with cancer to retain a sense of control during an emotionally turbulent time.”
What do you think about this? Do you think it is time to change the language surrounding cancer? Many people on Twitter talked about how you "don't lose a battle against a heart attack" so why do we use this language with cancer?