Feeling lost and alone after a break up

hi everyone here ,i'm a male 47 years old i live in miami florida and i had a separation a year and a half ago ,my ex left to nevada with our kids and i have been submerse in the deepest depression of my life ,and i do not know what to do anymore ,i can not sleep ,i can barely eat ,can not take showers ,having panic attacks if i have to get out of the house i did a few bad things in my marriage ,i guess like everyone else i made mistakes with her and my first son ,but the problem now is that she and him wont forgive me and i feel so guilty ,i have try everything so far ,therapy ,pills trying to make new friends and NOTHING has help me ,if anyone out there can help this poor soul i wold appreciated

Heartbreak we all go through this some of us more than just one time myself went through it once and learned that LOVE is a doubled-edged sword LOVE is one of the best feelings a man or woman can feel it feels wonderful to be in LOVE but when you fall out of LOVE it's totally the opposite it hurts and it hurts so bad the only thing that can heal you is time and with the time that wound that LOVE left you with will heal with time but there will always be a SCAR left to remind you of what LOVE can do so I have my SCAR that reminds me not to ever fall in LOVE again I can learn to like a person but never LOVE again.