I can't connect with anyone and constantly feel alone

I can't connect with anyone and constantly feel alone. 

It triggers me into ruminating on the rare times I have met someone I had a connection with, that being my recent past partners, but they betrayed me and threw everything we had away for nothing by cheating and lying, one of which was a narcissist and completely ditched me after his family exposed his lies to me. Horrible lies.. like his mother and baby sister 'being dead.' How can you lie about that..? That's not even the surface.  I learned every single thing he ever told me wasn't true, and that the person I loved never really existed.. the sudden disappearance without an apology, explanation, or ownership of his actions just makes the healing process so much harder for me, especially going through this alone.. it ended in October, and I still cry about this everyday.. I'm not the type to go into a relationship unless I plan to stay in it, and I make this very clear, so to lose someone I planned to keep late in life is unbearably painful. I just wish healing wasn't so messy.. and that forming lasting genuine connections wasn't so hard..