Depression after mom had to leave

@Somya.P Over 30 years ago my sister took my youngest son, he was 6, when I gave birth to my daughter under the guise she wanted to help me out. Well she did everything but help me out, she totally bad mouthed me, telling him how I am such a horrible mom, she made it difficult for me to spend any time with him, at first she would bring him to visit, just twice, she then told me he didn't want to come to my house anymore so my oldest son would go over to her house, that is when the youngest said to him "I don't know how you can keep living with her, and that he should find a way to get away from me. A couple of years later I found myself homeless with my 8 year old (oldest son) and my 6 month old daughter, we were sleeping in an abandoned apartment building and during the day my daughter and I would hang out near my son's school. One day when picking my son up he told me that some people came to the school and was asking him stuff about me, he gave me a paper that turned out to be a court order, my sister had filed a complaint saying I was an unfit mother, well the Lord sent an angel that day I had to be in court, the judge told my sister I was by no means an unfit mother and that she should be helping me instead of trying to try me down. After all of that my oldest son didn't want to go to her house anymore because he didn't like how they talked about me, I have absolutely no contact, in fact I don't even know where my son is.

Having said all of that I can honestly say that it is not easy to deal with the hurt that comes, and even today I still get bouts of depression when it is his birthday, or during the holidays but I have learned that first and foremost I need to allow myself to have that bout of depression, I will reach out to a few folks if for nothing else but a big hug, more often asking them to keep me in prayer, and here is the one thing that has helped me the most, I have a little talk with Jesus, asking him to touch my son in some way, let him know I am sorry things turned out as they did. and my door and arms are always ready and open if he wishes to reach out.