How to start talking about depression?

Hi

Hello everyone.  Today is a hard day for me.  My dad is alive but I don’t get to see or talk to him much.  He keeps away from everyone    I miss him so much 

Hello everyone.  I need some encouragement today. I’m feeling really bad about myself 

Hello everyone!  My name is Kimberly and I'm new on here so please, bare with me!  I'm scared and not sure if I'm going to make it through this time.  I've been dealing with depression/anxiety since I was 20 years old.  Didn't get an actual diagnosis until I was almost 30 and that's only because I tried killing myself, again!  I could never (and still can't) talk to my family about it because they either don't understand or swear that I'm just trying to make up excuses for my behaviors, both past and present.  I was doing really well for quite some time on medications and going to therapy and then I got a job I loved (already had my family) and decided I didn't need either anymore.  Unfortunately, I have done that alot throughout the past almost 20 years.  And then, just to screw up my life even more, I started drinking to help me feel better.  Which of course, led to some very bad decisions and now due to those decisions my husband has told me he wants a divorce and I'm sure I'm going to lose the rest of the little family I have left.  Not worried about friends because I make sure I don't have any that way I don't have anyone else to let down.  I have another appointment to see my psychologist and get back on my meds as well as in therapy but it's not until August 28th so for now, I'm just trying to keep myself alive because on the inside, I absolutely want to die!  Oh and I lost my job as well but that had to do with something completely different.  Sorry it was so long!  

I always have had trouble finding someone to listen to be honest. I've always been the one people go to donuts truly hard for me to be the one to talk. I chalk it up to that I will be fine is my problem really that serious I'm just overreacting. I tell people all the time that yes other people have problems and that there problems as small as they might seem to someone else are overwhelming to the person going through it. I personally went once to see someone but it was because my behavior was affecting my job and it was being noticed by my coworkers and my boss suggested I go and talk to someone. Honestly I dont think it helped. Nor are any of my current coping skills. So kind of at a loss at the moment. 

Hi @Kimmer717‍ !  Sorry I'm just reaching out about your post!  I've been working and well, depressed as can be so I haven't even bothered to get on here lately.  As far as going to talk to someone tho, it takes time.  I went three different times (months apart) before it even started making me feel better at all.  As with everything, it just takes time!  Granted, probably not the person to be talking to because my depression has literally gotten the best of me but that's how it was for me.  I know tho that it's not the same for everyone!  And I know what u mean about you being there for everyone else when they aren't there for you, not really! Been that way my whole life!  I finally got smart (brave I should say) and told them all that for once I need to concentrate on just me so I needed to take a break.  Even if they tried calling me after that, I didn't answer!  If they got mad or whatever, that's on them now.  Because I am truly scared for my own life, even tho, if anything happens to me, I will be the one who does it!  I know, doesn't make sense.  Anyway, maybe try to give therapy another shot.  Even group therapy, that really seemed to help me.  To hear that other people are feeling the same as me.  Idk.....it's just nice to know you're not alone!  I hope things are or have gotten better for u honey!  I will do my best to keep an eye on here for u.  

Kimberly

Yes it’s a struggle to discuss anything with some people like family or friends about depression it gets no where in it upsets me a lot but I have no room to get upset because they have 0% understanding so I keep everything bottled up inside or cry it out as well but it want take the pain away but I bought a journal in I will write in it time to time when I’m feeling very bad

@BrinleysGma You are very strong for getting help, that takes a lot of courage. Courage I wish I had. So commend yourself for just doing that.  I also deal with depression and anxiety and dealing with the two can be very difficult. You are not alone! I’m not good at using my words but I hope everything works out for you. Keep your head high. You are strong and amazing to come as far as you have. 

I have been suffering from depression really bad.  I was on Zoloft, now on Mirtazapine 30 mg tabs.  Helps me sleep better.  I moved from where I was staying to another place.  I was almost ready to baker act myself.  I still feel depressed but I need to gave the new medication a chance to work.