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Love life in the face of illness: how to cope?
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uncleanatol
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uncleanatol
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@laverne0528 I suggest that your son to get a notebook and write down the names of the women he's contacted so that he doesn't contact them more than once. You could help him with that. Also, I think that he should frequent places where he can meet women, like a library where he can join a discussion group and/or a church or synagogue - whichever corresponds to his religious beliefs - which have singles groups. I, too, have short-term memory loss, the residual of a cerebellar stroke, so I know exactly what he's going through. For example, at 10 a.m. ask what I had for breakfast at 8 a.m. and I wouldn't be able to answer you. The stroke also left me with physical challenges (vertigo and left limb weakness) so that I have to use a cane for balance. Most importantly, to me at least, is attitude. Pay attention to the beautiful, wonderful things around us such as a sunset, the fierce beauty of a thunderstorm, the fresh clean air after that storm, watch geese flying in formation when heading south for the winter and how they take turns at point . . . The beauty far outweighs the ugly, you just have to pay attention.
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Judith A Carlson
laverne0528
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Thank you for your beautiful comment. I will try to help him with this.
MyMS55
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@Lee__R since my diagnosis in 1996 when a doctor asks about my sex life I say what sex life. With lack of sensation from my shoulders to my toes pretty much everything is a dead zone so I don't feel down there and I don't feel in my head like doing anything about it. My husband has been gone 18 and 1/2 years and I have not met another man. Nor do I have any desire for another man or woman to that matter. I am content with who I am and I've learned to be happy with how things are. I e "I don't have got to have a man in my life syndrome." This disease has robbed me of many things but not my happiness. I don't need to have "sex " to feel fulfilled.
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Melissa Vemi
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Lee__R
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Lee__R
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Today is Valentine's Day! This emblematic day, sometimes criticized for its commercial and marketing impact, undoubtedly evokes emotions and love. We organized a poll* to allow you to express your views on this subject. Does a chronicall illness affect romantic life? Does caring for a loved one also have an impact? Here are your answers.
Maintaining an intimate and sexual life: a challenge for 31.2% of respondents
The question "as a patient or family member, what impact does the disease have on your love life", a majority of participants answered that their intimate and sexual life is difficult. There are many reasons for this: decreased libido due to fatigue, erectile dysfunction, localized pain, etc.
Having a chronic illness can severely disrupt intimate relationships,; loved ones and relatives of individuals with a chronic illness may experience psychological or even physical exhaustion too.
>> Join our discussion group on Men's Health
For individuals who are not in a romantic relationship, being diagnosed with a chronic condition can also hinder meeting someone. Our large isolation survey revealed that 57% of patients had reduced their outings and social activities. Therefor, opportunities to meet new people are more limited. In addition, 88% of respondents reported an impact of isolation on their intimate life and 98% on their social life.
Relationships with partners are more difficult for 21.5% of respondents
For 21.5% of individuals diagnosed with a chronic condition and relatives, the survery revealed that relationships with their partners became more complicated due to the disease. Patients may suffer from their spouse's misunderstanding or no longer have enough energy to devote time and attention to them.
Only 9.3% of participants were lucky enough to see their relationship strengthened as a result of living with a chronic condition. Many couples separate after a chronic illness diagnosis; moreover, a recent study showed that a woman is six times more likely to experience a separation after being diagnosed with cancer or multiple sclerosis than a man in the same situation.
Remaining alone, the solution for 18.3% of respondents
"I want to be alone partly because of the disease" is the answer given by 18.3% of respondents to our survey. Scars, weight gain, weight loss, or medical equipment can lead to one developing a poor self-image. Difficulties in maintaining a "normal couple's life" or fear of rejection can discourage people to attempt to date.
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What can I do to find a fulfilling love life?
Health professionals recommend that, first and foremost, discussing such issues and concerns with your significant other should. Communication is the tool that, in many cases, allows you to resolve issues, conflicts, and concerns. Everyone, at their own pace, without being feeling forced, will be able to relearn how to have a dialogue with their partner.
If you do not have a significant other, remember that you are not defined by your condition. You maintain all the remarkable qualities you had before the diagnosis or became a caregiver for a sick relative. Love can take many forms, whether your illness is disabling or not.
Symptoms of disease that impact a intimacy should also be treated as soon as possible. Neurological, cardiovascular, physical, or psychological symptoms can affect intimacy, as can the side effects of a drug. Talk to your doctor about treatments and methods that can reduce fatigue, pain, and improve morale.
You can also consult with:
- A psychologist, who can help you in the journey to resolve / overcome life and romantic concerns and issues, as well as acceptance of your diagnosis or that of a loved one.
- A sexologist, who can assit you in all aspects of romantic relationships, physical and emotional.
- A gynaecologist, who treats disorders of the female genital system, such helping reduce pain or various discomforts
- A urologist, who is responsible for the male urogenital system and can treat male sexual disorders and pains.
Has your relationship and/or intimacy faced difficulty or been adversely affected by your condition or that of a loved one? Opening up and talking about it is progress and a productive move toward resolution and/or understanding, whatever it may be.
Have you treated any specific symptoms?