How can I manage anxiety and depression?

I dont think im good.enough I am.a recovering addict I also ask questions do you love me are you happy she says yes i already answered that and she says if I wasnt happy or loved you less I wouldn't be there and I wasnt always like this this all happened in the past year and I love my family thete everything to me.wife kids i need to get a handle on it.and be myself again 

@CaramelSeoul 

I am taking Cymbalta after 2 weeks seems to have calmed my anxiety but not yet my depression.

@Rabideau8  hi what i can say is u must change ur thought pattern.  Like rewiring ur brain to think positivel delete the bad thoughts and replace with good thoughts hopes dreams happiness. U have to try to change ur thought pattern but its important u forgive ur self for ur downfalls. It's the most hardest thing to do but before u can change the tape recorder u must do. Then u replace the negative with positive thoughts. I hope this helps u. It's good for me too. I wish u strength and happiness.  I pray God bless u a n d family.

@Macksnap1 some of us DO HAVE TO work but depression enables us. I went into a depression 8wks ago and slowly but surely I'm coming out of it. But I haven't been to work in 8wks(eventually quitting after 2wks).. I'm living with my daughter and it's been embarrassing to watch her Watch me go through this illness but it's a blessing to have her understanding at this time. I don't know what I would do if she didn't take me in. I can't work. The fourth job I've quit in less than a year. I'm a Dietary Cook. I love what I do. When I can do it. 20 yrs under my belt cooking at some of the best upscale healthcare facilities. Depression became apart of my life and now I can't do what I love some days

@Cryingtime I really hope all is well with you at this time. I came across your post and I'm genuinely sorry you have to endure such darkness depression can bring. I think if NOT ALL then some of us here can definitely relate to you!  I also hope GOD has given you strength to hold onto his mercy and not the thought of suicide. I remember my first time thinking about suicide. It scared me because that's when I knew this disease had taken over my mind. It was then I asked (actually begged) GOD to give me strength because I truly wanted to live. I just didn't want to live like this! Live with a illness that took my mood. My smile. My energy. Sometimes, the way I see it depression has already taken my life without me having to commit suicide.

I'm so thankful for everyone in this group who takes the time to read my comments. I don't get a chance OR feel comfortable speaking my feelings. I hold in alot!  So thank you for your understanding

@Rabideau8 hi. I'm sorry you are going through this. Last year in March 2020 I started working from home and by June I started getting depressed. It was isolating. I still functioned daily doing everything I needed to do. What I did notice was a difference in my fiance. I asked the same questions of him- do you love me? Do you want to be here? Etc.. he kept telling me I was depressed and paranoid. I believed him. Fast forward to the end of 2020- I found out he was seeing another woman. My depression was too much for him. When I think back I wonder why did I have to ask if you love me? If you love me then you should tell me just like I tell you. Now keep in mind that all relationships are different. Everyone goes through things addiction, depression etc. That doesn't define you. I have told myself I will never take another's words again without actions. If you say you love me- show me with actions etc. If you say you want to be here with me- show me with actions. If you know that you have the tendency to be paranoid then maybe you are- only you know your relationship. Maybe couples counseling would help. Often times partners don't understand things like depression, addiction etc unless they have been through it. Sometimes a counselor can explain better. I hope this helped. Big hugs!!

@melissa8305 OMG!!! It's like you and I are going through the same situations. I too just broke up with my 15yr relationship. For the last 5 yrs he and I were breaking up to make up on a regular. When the pandemic hit I started to realize we were never going to be good for one another again. To say the relationship was toxic is an understatement! I'm happy and sad at the same time because the man I fell in love with so many years ago was now a man I couldn't stand being around anymore. The relationship messed with me mentally also but I stayed! Sometimes I blamed myself for our downfalls because I was the one with the mental illness. I really do miss him but I don't miss the relationship. If that makes any since! 

@Ms.BK  it all makes sense. It's hard to not miss someone after spending so much time with them. My ex had even became my best friend- we were that close. Which made it even more difficult to understand how he could hurt me so bad. One day when we have healed, we will both find the love of our lives! 

My depression has really gotten the better part of my grades and before I had depression I was a 4.3 GPA student and now I'm a 3.6 GPA student. I have gone down the rabbit hole and can't find my way back up. Is there anyone that has been through a similar situation and found what can help motivate them to feel more of themselves because I could really use any ideas that could help. 

@Cryingtime There is no definite limits on when you can cry and how much., There is no shame in crying either. It’s body’s way of relieving stress, or mourning for the loss of oneself or a loved one. Crying can also be a sign of joy or happiness. So you see, it’s natural even when you are depressed. It’s when you don’t cry or cease to cry and depression has casted its hold on your being. I hope that helps?