Need someone to talk to/Listen to others

@melissa8305 thank you 

How does one deal with extreme nihlisim? I literary constantly think nihilistic thoughts and cant get it out of my head no matter how hard i try.

Is destracting yourself from pain ignorance? Is there objective truth? Why am I destined to make no marck on this universe? It seems crule to give life to insignificant specks on a rock in space. Just wondering if anyone else goes thru this and if so how do they deal with it?

Hello, I was just wondering why am I constantly feeling sad and disappointed in myself. It's really hard talking to this with people because I have trust issues. At home, I rarely get support and feel like I get considered a nuisance and I'm afraid of failure to the point I'm up every night having to overthink everything please help.

I just feel very confused I'm still grieving over the loss of my grandma because the last thing I would tell her before she died was ill see her again but then I did stupid stuff and got put on probation and she died:(.I feel like I lied to her. Then again I felt like I suffer PTSD, as a child my other grandmother and my dad took me away from my mom illegally and I see things differently. He was an alcoholic and beat me then told me he loved me and after he got arrested I grew up without a dad for 5 years. My grandma was very religious and would force us to read the bible for hours then come to school with 4 hours of sleep. I would go to church a lot and couldn't sleep even if I was tired because I would come home to an ass beating and was forced t look stupid and dance when I didn't want to. Back in 2018 or 2017 my mom went to court and got me back and it was hard. I was accustomed to getting beat and not having any freedom to now being able to do what I want but it gets to the point where she doesn't care at all and it hurts because I think I'm not important to her. She never tells me she's proud and always says I'm dramatic like a girl. I was going through a lot with my mom to the point where I had to leave the house and live with my friend for 8 months. She told me she was gonna quit doing things if I came back and she lied and continues doing it. Then I had to also come back because she caused issues with my friend's mother by lying. I live life super depressed and sad and I don't understand what to do. I want to be happy but it so difficult knowing there is so much pain in me. And then every time a family holiday happens I cry because I hang with myself the whole time. I was taught by my grandma to hate my mom and my mom taught me my grandma was a liar so my life feels like it's been a lie. When I went down to Miami my mom told me we would just pick up money and not see her but she drove in the car saying more stuff about religion when I don't believe in anything because of her and felt super disrespected because my mom and she were having a regular talk but with my grandma she never let me contact my mom and told me she left me at Walmart and forced my dad to pick me up and take care of us. I'm just tired and confused and apologize if I sound stupid.

@ashjoleigh Hello, the weather has gotten beautiful here and I am thankful. It makes me feel better.  Hope you are feeling better too! So good just to see the sunshine. My son keeps telling me to get out in the sun so I sat out on my back patio yesterday afternoon for a little while. I am on several lists to get the covid vaccine but no luck yet. I'm a little afraid to get it but if they call I will.  Then maybe I will feel a little less nervous about getting the virus. I worry about all kinds of things that most often don't even happen. I do understand your depression and hope that you can talk to me on here. Maybe we can help each other.

Thanks for listening.

Linda

I need a friend/sponsor. I am 24, 5 years into law enforcement, trying to go to trooper school in 30 days, just found I have a hernia (which could hinder my career improvement) and I’m pretty sure I have just discovered I have HSV-2. The thoughts rolling through my head are deep, and a failure is what I feel. I feel I’ve let my family down. I won’t go into too much detail, but I’m seeking help so much I turned to a website. 

@Bahamadwaton I'm sorry you are feeling that way, but I certainly understand. I am willing to listen if you'd like 

@ Me too i feel like im just a bother to everyone i just end up messing things up im such a bad person mother and a waste of skin 

@CharleneBM I've definitely felt that way. We have to remember that we are valid in every state of our lives no matter who thinks otherwise. You are valid and your feelings are valid whether they be highs or lows. Work at lingering in your highs and maintaining your lows. It's tough when you may not have anyone to be a sounding board, but writing could help as well. Sending you love and peace

I HAVE SO MANY IMBALANCES. GIVING MORE LOVE THAN I WILL EVER RECEIVE. LOVING TOO HARD. MY MOM'S DEATH. NOT BEING AS FAR AS I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD. I DO NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. I DON'T LIKE TO BE A BURDEN TO THE FEW CLOSE LOVED ONES I DO HAVE. I CRY SOMETIMES. SOMETIMES I'M ANGRY. SOME DAYS I CAN'T FUNCTION. SOME DAYS I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. I AM ALL OVER THE PLACE AND SCARED AT TIMES.