What is it really like to live with breast cancer?

Its a roller coaster that seems like it is never ending, filled with highs (when you feel good, doctors say treatment is working, tumors are decreasing in size, etc.) and lows (you feel like crap, sick, in pain, doctors are worried, etc.). Every time you come to the place to get on and off the roller coaster, you do not get off - some people stay one the ride with you (friends, family members, doctors, etc.), more people join (new doctors, new specialists, clergy, new friends that have cancer, etc.) and others get off the ride (friends, family members, co-workers, jobs, careers, etc.) due to it being to taxing.

Finally, if you are lucky, the ride does finally end (cancer is gone/complete remission). However, you are emotionally and physically drained and have to figure out how to take on life with the new body you are dealt. You feel like you have a second chance on life, but the fear of getting on the roller coaster again always stays with you.

I am traveling through a variety of issues, imcluding but not limited to nausea  diarreah total lack of energy and depression.  I need help and support, but don't know where to seek it.  I cannot count on my family - but I feel desperate,  Ineed help adjusting to the constant fatigue and lack of interest in activity.  What's the best thing to do.  I know this is silly, but I am devastated by the hair loss and hate wearing a wig...it's comborsome and uncomfortable.

Through this diagnosis, I have learned a lot about myself. I am lucky enough to have so far been in remission for 3 years so the days of nausea, vomiting, and hair loss are hopefully behind me... but I still face depression and anxiety because of the fear this remission does not last for ever.

I learned that I am strong. I learned about the strength I never knew I had because prior to this diagnosis I allowed fear and my insecurities to hold me back, but now I overpower all those feelings most of the time.

@DENISEAMONEY I know what you are feeling. I have been there and I am keeping you in my thoughts. Keep positive, try and eat and live healthy, do yoga or meditation to relax, surround yourself around those who support you or can make you laugh when you are down, and try and still enjoy things in life... don't let it win.

@DENISEAMONEY Hang in there, I think a lot of us here have been where you are and it is hard, and unbearable and no it isn't silly to struggle with hair loss, it's human. I agree with larab5, find things that bring you calmness and comfort - some good suggestions were made already and even something small like going for a walk may also help as well. Best wishes for you. 

@DENISEAMONEY If you need some one to message I will gladly answer anything I can . I will be here to listen to how you are feeling. I do not check in here daily but I will if you need to talk or vent, or ask about treatments I did . I can only speak on what Ive been through, but I can try to help.

@DENISEAMONEY I never wore a wig. Sometime wore a scarf. Hey, people let me cut in front of them in line. People bought me coffee , open doors , hey they were nice when I was bald!! Use to your advantage!! Soon enough your hair will come back and People will start to be their rude selves,!!   Any stares ? I said don't worry its not contagious. You are  BEAUTIFUL , never tell yourself otherwise!! We are too hard on ourselves, We look in mirrors and see each imperfection. Give yourself some compliments, you worked hard taking those treatments , You're STRONG> A little hair isn't important.  No,Hair dont care was my slogan. It grew back. Denise

@denisejeanmckeon‍ excellent advice. you are so strong!

@DENISEAMONEY you are stronger than you ever will know. This experience will allow you to see that and you will look back and be in awe at what you overcome. It is rough, but as @denisejeanmckeon‍ implied... look at the bright side of things as much as you can and do not let others thoughts, words, or looks affect you. Easier said than done of course, but getting into that thought is helpful.

I know you said you cannot count on family, so try to think about what resource you can count on. Maybe this will come through joining a support group (contact your local cancer hospital), joining a group at a local church (many churches do not require you to even be a member), google about other groups in your local area (there are apps that show you groups like MeetUp, or communicating through here.