What causes or triggers your depression?

@JcCarpenter‍ I am sorry you are thinking that. HAs he ever given you a reason to think such will occur? if not maybe discuss everything with him. it may help.

I have been suffering from depression for a long time.  Even with medication I still get no relief.  I registered for clinical trials.  

Hi all I'm 68 and still not feeling better. My problems are family financial etc. I am a loving parent grand and great grandparent. We wanted to take our 4 yr old not biological but we dont consider him that, for the day. We were told he didnt want to go anywhere but we feel differently. I also offered to babysit for my new greatgranddaughter but was never asked. His mother was. I cant stop crying I'm so very unhappy and angry at the same time. What to do?😪😪😪

When my mom or any parent figure says they love me I get depressed. I just don't know how to trust it anymore. I don't believe it and it makes me feel like I'm being lied to. When I try to go to sleep at night all I can think about it every little thing I regret and it won't let me sleep. 

@Katienicolee how long have you be on the antidepressants? Sometimes it takes up to a couple of weeks before you will feel a difference? Just keep seeking treatment and the right meds that works for you .I'm praying yiu will be able to manage your symptoms and enjoy your life for what it is.

I have really low-self esteem, always have, so what I’ve recently noticed that triggers my depression is when I feel like I’m not doing enough or doing things right. I have two kids and a husband who is a recovered addict who needs reassurance a lot more than I can handle most days and when I feel like I’m falling short, my mind goes to war with itself and sometimes it becomes too much for me to deal with and lose all motivation for a day or three even though my husband really is great with understanding me and comforting me. 

I have also noticed that since I turned 30, it’s become proficiently worse. 

I was born a transwoman 65 years ago in a different world. At age 4, just before my 5th year, just as I was to start kindergarten, my mother taught me to cross the street. She the told me I was too weird for her to handle, and from that day onward I would only be allowed at home for dinner at 6pm, and for bed at 9pm. So I lived on the streets during the day until they kicked me out at 14. I then made my way as a prostitute until my late puberty set in and I started not to pass as female anymore.

At 17 it came to a head and six guys kicked me to death, (they said they'd resuscitated me 3 times on the table later). When I came out of my coma, family services told me I had a choice, I could finish my G.E.D. and join the military, or I could go to juvy until I was 21.

I joined, and served honorably for four years in the early 70's during the end of the Vietnam war. It ended, and it turned out that that giant contract they had me sign was one way. If I had tried to change the terms I would have gotten 6mos in Levenworth hard labor, but the government felt free to, 'take a peace dividend' and reduce my G.I. Bill so I had to use it within 10yrs and there wouldn't be enough for a four year college.

I found men have great equipment, but the can't be trusted, (other stories) so I married a woman. As is my wont, I told her all about my 'proclivities', (I'm not sure transgender was even a widely used term in those days).

10 years, and a new baby boy later, she left me and our son and divorced me.

After a few years I married again, and again was up front about my transgender status. She had a girl from a previous marriage, so we were four.

35yrs later, we had had 5 more kids, (2 girls and 5 boys total) and I had my first heart attack.

Due to an inherited coranary disease, I began to faint regularly. I could no longer work, which meant I could no longer justify playing a male without the motivation of providing for my family. After some serious depression, we agreed I should transition.

Three years later we divorced.I am now living on reduced, (I had to start at 62) Social Security. I do not make enough to live on, ($1000\no.) in this economy. I am homeless, my kids are scattered across the U.S. thanks to raising them to be independent and self-reliant.

I only love others, all others, even the haters, but none love me back. I have achieved my goals in life, and am proud to have made it here, even my doctors ask me when they see me, "You are still alive?" (I kid you not).

There, right there is the crux of my problem, I'm still alive, but with few resources, and no one in my life to love or be loved by. This winter was cold, my soul is freezing. For someone who accomplished what I have, I guess any 'reward' (unlike getting screamed at buy some lady at a bus stop that I am 'offending God') will come after this life, and not before.

I am so tired, cold, and lonely, when does it end?

@Michelle Yes, I agree, like it just jumps out of the closet.  Mine have to do with other's doing better than I am.  Although these days I guess I should be happy about doing anything at all.  It's like a black swamp that just swallows you up and you drown in it but don't die.  Winston Churchill called it "the black dog" to me it's more like the black 900 pound Gorilla that just sits on your chest and stomps on you.  

My trigger is not being able to help others. I suffer from fibromyalgia and Lupus. I have inflammatory arthritis and herniated discs on cervical and lumbar spine. Stress flares both Lupus joint pain as well as my fibromyalgia pain. I feel like my skin is on fire. Swelling makes my hernias hurt more and I feel like my feet are pierced by nails as I walk. My sisters dad passed this week and she has been previously suicidal on multiple occasions so her not dealing well and me not feeling well enough to drive to get to her or walk to be able to go out anywhere with her to distract her has me so upset.

What triggers a lot of my depression is a certain time of year which is may. And then if there is fighting around. And if people pick fights with me and then try to tell me I picked the fight even though I didn't start the fight. Or if I get told I did something I didn't do. Thats a lot of my triggers for my depression so far.