Has Crohn's affected your romantic relationship?

Crohn's for me impacted basically all aspects of my life and therefore it has also had an impact on my relationships; however, now that I have it better under control (I have learned my body better and can sense changes / flares better and am able to proactively prepare/manage) the impact is less. Also, I have become more accepting of the condition and now am taking it as a part of me... in the beginning it was much harder to deal with  mentally. 

If you would have asked me when I was first diagnosed, I would have said it had a huge impact on my relationships; the woman I was dating at the time left me, which hit me hard as we were together for almost 2 years. I then got into another rebound relationships shortly after, which was over in about a month. During these times I was refusing to go out anywhere and was depressed. I stopped dressing nice and taking care of my self... I fell this is what likely ultimately pushed my girlfriend of 2 years away... more so than the non-so-pleasant symptoms. However, while that led me into a bliss of even more depression and self pity, it led me to being stronger.

I started learning my body and started taking care of myself of again. I found foods that did not affect my body and just focused on them... I do not indulge on really anything anymore, unless I know it is tried and tested and my body won't adversely react. Not fun, but it works. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful lady who supports me and encourages me when I do have a flare or just a bad day.

One thing I do still struggle with is fatigue... however, I push myself to not be. I am not advising anyone of this, but I went to the psychiatrist who provides me medications for depression and explained the fatigue... I am not taking a mediation that is supposed to also aid in depression, but also release a neurotransmitter that gives you more liveliness and energy. My point is... it is a two way street... work to make the relationship successful, but never feel less of yourself and that you do not deserve a great partner who supports you because you do.

I never know which impacts a relationship more... the actual symptoms or our fears of how others perceive us as a result of our symptoms. I think patience and understanding is the key with relationships, so that both can understand the impacts of crohn's and how living with it affects us not only physically, but also mentally.

My husband and i have been together 5 years, married 3.5 and he has been the one with me since diagnosis. He goes to almost all appointments with me and is very active in my healthcare. There are periods of time that i dont want anything physical, but i make myself be intimate during those times as long as i am not in excruciating pain. I have found that the more my husband knows about how i have been feeling and whether i think i can handle it, the better. 

 

As far as mentally and emotionally....im still working on that....my hubby suffers from depression and anxiety so i try my hardest not to add more to him. I talk to my friends aboutbhow I'm feeling and support groups that i am part of on FB and other apps. That helps. 

My wife died a year before my symptoms started, so I was already in a weird place when this crohns hit me. It started out worse than I could have thought, mostly my own misconceptions and fears. I have been lucky enough to start dating and having some intimacy, because I wanted it so much that I have forced myself to act and be as close as I can to the same way I was before this happened. Thats has helped alot to get my confidence back and really I am the same person that I have always been. Now I really need to find a serious and long term partner. I am a much better person when in a relationship. I am open to chat with anyone who wants to about anything almost anytime so hit me up people. We will get thru this with each others help.  Stephen

I've been with my husband for years before I was diagnosed with Crohn's. The biggest problem for me was the fatigue. I get so tired, I can't get out of the car when he drives me home from work sometimes. That puts a damper on things, going out together, doing hobbies together and of course sex life.

Have you talked with him about this. Does he understand your point of view. Is he willing to try anything and everything to try and help you to get what it is that you need. If you want I can help with some other suggestions and ideas, don't give up on him or your love life especially. It is one of the most important things that we still have going for us is to have a healthy love life to look forward to.. Thanks and good luck. Stephen

@Lee__R 

I would have to say yes having Crohn's disease at 37 years old having a scar about 5 inches on my stomach which has made dating very difficult for me.  I seem to spend more time adjusting to healthy eating, insensitivity which developed after the onset of my Crohn's disease and after surgery. I have found that dating does not seem that interesting however, I can see myself in the future having another child.  it's been a very interesting road for me. So dating we're dating who god how much time should I spend finding the relationship I should have? 

Angelique Bouvier

You have to take as much time as is necessary to find the right person to spend maybe the rest of your life with. To be able to trust and respect them and visa versa. My problem or needs, or really I guess just my wants are not as large as yours, but it is very important for me to be happy is to be able to love someone, to have another in my life is kinda what I live for. I am a much better person when I am in a relationship. Now is the longest time I have been without a partner in my adult life. I'm not the same person I was, and it has made dating more difficult. Older, not any better looking, have medical problems, and still I know that we will find someone that will complete us into a couple. You will do the same, and they are the ones who will make us again feel wanted, and needed and will make life more livable for us. Good luck to us both we deserve happyness again. Stephen

I was just thinking about this the other day so I thought I'd comment. I think Crohn's is really hard on the spontaneity of relationships. In a couple we can't really just go on a surprise or random trip or just go and do something because we always need to be close to a bathroom for me if something happens or I'm just flat out too tired to go. It's a bit of a damper on the "excitement" or romance.

@cristalis I agree, it cut a little bit of the romance in the my relationship with my wife. It's not very sexy having to stop what we're doing in bed so I can run to the bathroom, if I'm even feeling good enough to do that. I think now after this many years my wife rolls with it and we both can laugh about it a bit. While it's not fun at the moment, later it can make us both laugh.