Need someone to talk to/Listen to others

Hi my name is Greg I suffered my first nervous breakdown at the age of 14 that was 30 years ago. Since then I have been diagnosed with serval mental disabilities. Bi-Polar, Depression, PTSD, Borderline personality disorder and generalized anxiety disorder. I was on meds for 15 years living in a zombie like state never alive but never really dead. I have been off my meds for 8 months now and my feelings emotions and trauma keeps invading my mind I am going with therapy at the moment to try to learn to deal with everything without meds. I want to be a real person again. I feel I have so much to offer this world with my emotions and feelings. It is hard though because for 15 years I have bottled up everything in my heart and mind with prescription drugs. I never realized it at the time but now it's all becoming clear. Unfortunately these thoughts and feelings are super intense I guess because the borderline personality disorder. I've read that I feel deeper than normal people and have an extremely hard time relating to others because of this. My so called friends make me feel weak or weird because of it and don't understand. I have an excellent therapist at the moment and feel a little more hopeful then when I was medicated and feeling nothing. I cannot speak with my friends and family about any of this because they do not understand and potentially just tend to make things worse. My therapist is available to me once a week but it's everyday that I suffer with this. I figured I would search online for potential substitutes or help. I want to learn , how to handle these intense emotions, feelings and traumatic memories with out a chemical aid. So hear I am reaching out to anyone or anything to try to beat this or at least give it a fair shot. I am new here and have no idea how this works but here I am in all my humbleness and begging for some help.

I am unable to work. I had a triple bypass in 2019. I also have peripheral artery disease, heart disease, diabetes, and my right anterior carotid artery is 100% blocked. I filed for disability back in March and was turned down. The lawyer said they always turn you down the first time time and they appealed it. we are really hurting for money. Vehicles need work, we are running out of food, etc. etc. The only income I can make is playing my guitar. I also signed up for some study groups (taste tester). it just seems I can’t get a break. I tried talking to my wife but she just gets mad and tells me she can’t fix me. I had a show booked with my band and my side band got offered a gig the same night. Our singer in the side band got his brother to “fill in“ for me on guitar. Now, I found out, the original show got canceled and I’m already replaced in the side band. I guess I am… We got offered another show and before I could reply that I was available, our singer’s brother said he was good for it. For the taste tests thing, I keep getting offered surveys and as soon as I verify my info, I’m disqualified. wtf?!? I can’t catch a break. I’m doing everything I can to earn even a penny to contribute to my household. It seems like the universe is holding me back and keeping me down. I told my wife I don’t wanna live anymore. She didn’t seem to even recognize what I was saying.. I have a motorcycle but haven’t been able to ride it because, the battery died and won’t take a charge… And I simply cannot afford a new one. I posted in a motorcycle group, Asking what I need to do to make sure other things don’t go wrong with it while it’s there. Someone replied and said they had an extra battery they would give me. I replied and told them I would message them when I can get some gas in the car. He never replied. I messaged he this morning to see if we could meet up. He never replied. I need help. Please someone help!

@Lee__R 

hello, i am someone looking for help or guidance 

Recently an ex that i was madly in love with came back into my life. We started to talk again and almost got back together. Long story short he told me he never remembered loving me. After that day the next morning i felt numb. I couldn’t feel things as strongly anymore 

i need help i don’t know what to do or what is going on

@KeepItPrivate First thing you need to do is take control of your emotions back. Don't let some jerk with a bad memory decide if you should be happy or not. I wasted fifteen years being abused and ridiculed by someone. Eventually, I realized I wasn't afraid of him anymore. I felt nothing for him or anything anymore, so I left. It took a while but eventually, I met someone. We're not a perfect couple. I'm quick-tempered, he hates the beach, weirdo. But, we've both made each other happy for the last 27 years. Tell your Ex thanks for the lesson in bad choices and go find someone who really makes you happy. 

Hi I’m dealing with past hurts from my childhood and now at 33 I still don’t know how to handle it all. It has affected everything around me and I feel like I don’t know who I am so I find different ways to cope with all by doing things I know that may or may not be me!

Hi I guess umm I've been feeling really really down I just wanna end it I'm so depressed I feel like a a failure I just turned 19 on July I've been trying to get a job and I'm still in school but when I applied for a job I'm not hired I'm shy I have social anxiety bad bad depression and gastrophoresis I just don't know what to do anymore. my pills for my depression isn't working if I tell someone that I've been having bad thoughts bc of my depression they'll say y just stop HOW CAN I  I just idk 😐😢 I truly feel like a failure so much cuzz I can't get a job so me and my mom can get an apartment Or something to live in. 

Hello, I know how you’re feeling. It’s not easy and it’s not fair sometimes. You are not a failure! You are wort more than words can explain. You will get a job! Don’t give up. I’m rooting for you to win and succeed in life. Always remember that you’re not suffering in silence. ❤️🤞🏽

@Nayscott126 let the hurt go. It’s ok to forgive those whom hurt you in the past. I was hurt by childhood trauma and it surely affected my adulthood. Forgive those so that you may have peace. 

@Broken2infinty‍ how do I forgive and let go?

@Nayscott126‍ Always remember that forgiveness is for you not the ones who hurt you. People will hurt you and then live a happy life while you’re suffering from their hurt. It happened to me. I was so busy hating everyone who hurt me until I lost track of living a happy, healthy life.