Depression - I need someone to talk to

Hey everyone. Really down today, and just need someone to talk to I guess. I’m in the beginning stages of getting diagnosed for my mental illnesses. Screenings and trial-error with medications to see what works and such. I’ve struggled with anxiety, mood irregularities, and hormonal issues amongst some mystery things since I was 16. Because of all of these symptoms, I later started consuming cannabis heavily, at least once a day starting at age 18. It’s the only thing I’ve found helps ease my psychical anxiety, nausea, and appetite loss.   At my first appointment, my psychiatrist originally gave me lexapro & told me to cut back on smoking because it could make my anxiety and depression worse, so I did. Cut back my intake wayy less, and even take breaks in between smoking days now. It’s been two months and my anxiety and depression screenings since that last appointment have gone up, and I feel like my life just keeps getting worse. So my doctor doubled the lexapro dose & now wants me to stop smoking all together, so he can see if that’s still making my anxiety and depression worse. Rightfully so I understand why he wants me to stop smoking, so he can truly see what help I need without the cannabis. However, I’m terrified that I can’t do that. I definitely have a cannabis dependency after all this time, but for some good reasons. I have such low appetite that I can hardly even eat unless I’ve smoked, extreme nausea sometimes that’s only curbed by a bowl, etc. I want to help myself in the best way possible, but it makes me extremely worried to let go of something that still helps me so much everyday. 

@Blueday, I am a 54-year-old woman, I also feel like I'm always battling some issue. I'm sorry you have had to take on the care of your family instead of someone taking care of you after your surgery. Most days, I just want it to be over..all the suffering, but I continue to put on the mask, which is now wearing thin. I hope knowing there are other people out there dealing with depression and you are not alone, helps a little.

Recently I've been making myself feel unwanted by friends, family and my significant other. It really sucks because I know it's my own self pushing away from those who love me. I just am afraid they are going to leave me or get tired of me since I am sad all the time. I seriously dont know how to stop making myself feel unwanted 😕

@AvaJo098 you need to focus on you and only you at this time in your life. If you don't take care of yourself first then you're not going to be help to anyone else. The people who love you will always love you and won't believe what anyone else says about you because they know the real you. I know it's easier said than done but once you start believing in yourself you will be amazed at what you can achieve 

@Nadine I'm not here to judge you. I've been clean and sober for 17 years and it seems like you have a addiction problem and may be just replacing one addiction for another? If you don't mind me making a suggestion? Try calling narcotics anonymous help line or better yet! Get to a meeting. I'm just suggesting that because it worked for me. Also sharing here like you are helps also and never give up on yourself. You'll be surprised in yourself once you believe in yourself 

Hi guys, my name is kaylee, I’m 20, and I’ve been on my meds for depression for 2 years now. At first I felt great, and still did all of the things I enjoyed. But for the past few months, I feel like I can’t get out of bed, or brush my hair, or shower. It just feels like “why do that if you’re going to just get back into bed”. I don’t really have any friends, I mostly just talk to my husband. He’s been really helpful, but I can’t seem to get myself out. I’m exhausted 24/7, I get really hot from being anxious, and I’ve been sleeping for like 18 hours. I’m starting to get worried and I just need someone to talk to and maybe help me get myself out of this. I don’t clwan the house anymore, I don’t do the laundry, I don’t do the dishes. I just really need help.. 

hi everyone. This week has been really hard for me. I still live with my parents as I finish out my last year of college, but I plan to move out in January with some friends. Lately, it's just unbearable to be here and each day seems to somehow get worse. I feel like everything I say or do is my fault and starts an argument. And I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to because my mom immediately turns in around on me when I try to talk to her about what I'm feeling. I am just feeling so lonely right now and, frankly, really defeated, but it does feel good to finally share this with someone. 

@Blanket4 Hi Kaylee. I am 21 and have struggled with depression for 7 years now. I completely understand how you are feeling. I have had times when I can't seem to get myself to do anything and honestly feel like "what's the point?" Although I still struggle a lot with other issues, I have gotten past stretches of days like that and I know you will too. I am always here to talk and help you get back to doing the things you enjoy.