I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

@Gemmaq Nothing is more painful than to be treated in an abusive and evil way by others. I have a  " Zero tolerance" for that sort of behavior. Its caustic and inhumane and should never go unquestioned or unadressed. But back to you, you are a human; designed by God and loved by him. That is so important to live by and just knowing that you are worthy of love, respect, dignity, and human kindness from the right people. Don't be bullied with mindless beings, who despise even their own existence. Its your time and no one else's to be happy, smiling and at serene peace in your own element. That is where you will always be at peace with yourself. Do feel free to write back . I am a very good listener. I have a  wonderful sense of humor and I enjoy helping out when I can. Happy Easter to you. --Harry

@Brooke2329 Hi, Brooke. So life has really  been hard for you to live and exist in a world that cares so little. Perhaps love is surely a much needed divine intervention for this demonic world. You claim that this Bipolar disorder was handed down to you from your father and he took his life on account of it. There are new types of treatments out that retard the effects of Bipolar disorders. But that doesn't really help matters , does it? Do this, get that , try this is what the professionals tell you. Honestly, they don't feel the void that you live with. Support groups do help a lot, but when you are alone, its the fear and loneliness that rides back into your sunset, correct? I am going to be honest with you, Brooke. Yes, you are very frightened of the unknown and you have every right to be. This is a challenge that requires your ability to resist the temptation to seriously hurt yourself. When you feel the urge to take yourself out of the equation of life, call 9-1-1 immediately and don't hesitate. Ask for a police officer or an emergency first responder and tell whoever that you have a Bipolar disorder. There is always someone , who specializes with these types of disorders. Your health is serious  enough to warrant special help. Write me and talk to me . I am a great listener, Brooke. This is about you. I have nothing to gain from this, material-wise. Only that you find the happiness and peace you deserve.  ---Harry

@rustynutone WOW. Why do things happen to good people? Why can we never understand the justification for our misfortunes? Only God hold the answers to these questions. I am so very sorry to hear about the love of your life. But trying to take yourself out of the equation of life , is not the answer you should be focusing on. I cannot promise you when you will find the answers to your questions, but trying to do yourself in, is not the answer. Everyday , focus on something that you can feel good about. It will take time to happen. Something that you and your loved one shared together. A trip you both took together. Build on that memory. Give it a foundation in your heart. You make her live in you, so don’t embellish thoughts of suicide. Embellish thoughts of wonderful moments together. Allow yourself to smile and feel happy. Don’t allow anybody Toronto you of that , play? Happy Easter-Harry 

@HarryDecuir  error. To take that away from you

@Dcass22 Have you tried transcranial magnetic stimulation?  It's an alternative treatment for people with resistive depression (have failed 4 or more meds).  I'm going through it now, only in my second week takes usually 3-4 weeks to see a difference.

Iwant to sleep all the time. Being awake is pretty awful.

@judyhiggins 

You know @Judyhiggins, I feel the same way a lot of times but there something about someone out there feeling the same way I do that gives me energy, hope in that I am not alone. Someway we can get out of this slump together. And I thank you for expressing how you feel on this website because you are so relatable and make me feel hopeful in having someone to talk to about it.

I am in the same boat. I have nothing good right now. The only good thing that has happened is I demanded to get off my antidepressants because they weren't helping. But now I feel like my "support system" is just wanting to dope me up as I call it because I let my body choose what it wants to do. My therapist was telling me some of that has to do with my borderline personality disorder and no one understands that. Sometimes I feel like I am all alone. And I wish I wasn't feeling like I wasn't feeling like that. And all I want is someone to say I feel your pain. I have so many illnesses physical and mental and life is just getting so hard to live day by day. And I don't understand how I am suppose to keep going but I do. I know I'm strong enough to. I feel like I'm simba from the lion king because I have always been the lion king who lost a very important person and got lost and hanged out with a warthog and a parrie dog and just haven't had his nayla come find him yet. Even though I technically have, it just hard to see it. 

@judyhiggins I'm so sorry you feel this way Judy, I've certainly felt like that myself in the past.  I hope you've got a good treatment team that can help you through.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Remember that this too shall pass!

I still go through these moments too.  I do have a good team of people helping me.  I will pray for you.  What helps me sometimes is when I go out for a walk.  I even stop for a small coffee in a quiet place.  People in my church are also a great help.  I am here if you need someone to talk to.