I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

Yes  I have done therapy a few times and it just didn't happen well with me. I am in counseling now with my pastor via email. Its easier for me to get it out that way. I can speak freely and not have a set time period. I do believe spanking on the Bare bottom would help me get it out more, emotions feelings, hurts. I feel I need it real badly.

I feel the same. I joined today because I needed to know that I'm not alone, that other people get it too. Though I'm sorry that you all feel this way too. I'm so unhappy and I'd never hurt myself just because I don't want to hurt my family but I've never in my life wished so much for my life to just be done. I'm just so tired of everything. It's been so long since things seemed to be good. I don't really remember what it's like to be happy any more. And there's no one in my life that can understand how I feel. No one to talk to. It all just sucks right now.

Y’all I don’t know what to do I just keep thinking about cutting my thigh 

@agates2113 I think I was born depressed and I know how you feel.  No one has ever understood me.  And you are definitely not alone, not by a long shot.  And as for wishing for my life to be done I've had this feeling for years.  I've had every job in creation, been married three times, now locked up with my third wife because of this horrid pandemic in a marriage that's all but done.  Yeah, kind of waiting for my life to be over.  

Sometimes I imagine myself pulling the trigger and making it all go away. The pain, the loneliness, the only thing stopping me are my children. Other than them, there's nothing left to live for. I'm completely alone. My husband doesn't understand my depression and tells me to just stop feeling sad. The only people who know I'm depressed are my husband and the crisis hotline whom I speak to a lot. No one knows this battle I'm going through. My heart wants to stay but my mind wants it all to shut down. It's an exhausting experience. I was sexually abused by my uncle as a child on various occasions. My father was an abusive alcoholic. The only person I cared for died. It physically hurts to cry. I'm overly sensitive to anything my husband says or does, makes me feel worthless and alone. I'm alone. Sometimes it's like voices in my head tell me to just do it already but I know it's just because I'm tired of it all. I just want peace. 

I'm new to this I just got out of being in ivc inpatient for trying to commit suicide! I feel some better since I have been taking the meds they prescribed and going to groups helped me a lot because I found out I wasn't alone. So I'm trying to find a support group out here that might help me. I haven't been able to sleep at all last night my mind racing about the past days events and the past week and the people I hurt by doing this, when I really thought nobody cared they would be better off without me. I see now how many people does care and I want to find a way to continue getting help and support so I won't ever try to do this again and hurt my loved ones? Any advice??

@AlishaLynn just keep moving forward and keep your mind occupied. Read a book. Find a new hobby. Do something for yourself that involves self care. It's good to make yourself busy. Hope this helps. 

@AlishaLynn I was where you are now last year around this time.  I had my demise all planned out.  I was suicidality depressed and felt totally alone in the world.  You aren't alone at all.  People will give you all kinds of advice but the problem is, the depression still lurks in the corner waiting to jump out.   At least in my experience it does.  When I'm depressed it's as if I'm literally being attacked by an invisible demon.   Was there any specific trigger that sent you over the edge?  Sometimes extreme hardship overcomes our will to live.  

@YLH2206 My wife told me to just go ahead and kill myself, she said that anyone who wants to die should just be allowed to do it. She refused to go to couples therapy and wanted me "cured" after just three sessions with the therapist.  I had to ask her twice because I couldn't believe she said it the first time.  Believe me, you aren't alone.  

@castledepress That is awful to say to anyone, never mind your husband. I am so sorry your going through this and hopefully you can find some peace in your heart soon.