I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

@LynndMS amen ? 

@Dcass22‍ thank you. I couldn’t have said it better myself. 

I agree as well. Perfect

Very well said

I have MS and living with the unpredictability, having friends and family scatter away because they either don’t know what to say or don’t want to deal with being responsible for the person is an eye opener and also leaves one vulnerable to others who want short term benefits (I’m female and the occasional man comes along pretending to care but really doesn’t want a long term relationship because no one does).  I can’t work anymore. I repeat myself. And it scary and lonely. Talk about losing the will to live ... 

I just finished reading the posts in this discussion and I must say It feels nice to know that I am not alone in my views on depression.  That there are others like me who struggle with it on a daily basis.  It is hard is it not?  The struggle that we face everyday?  I scoff inwardly when friends and others tell me to 'find what makes me happy' or to 'look for those silver linings'.  Little do they know that you must first want to  and be motivated to do those things in the first place.  Hard to do when you are trapped in a depression trap that seems to be an endless closed loop.  They don't understand just how fragile our psyches are or how vulnerable.

Lately I think I have made a bit of a breakthrough with my depression problem.  Although I am reluctant to share it with you all as I think it might not be well received, I feel obligated to do so anyways and hope it helps some of you. Most people will tell you to look towards God and look for those things that do make you happy, big or small.  I totally agree with these sentiments but to get to that level of thinking I had to use another medium so to speak.  I chose anger.  One day I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror and asked myself some questions. 'Is this how I want to spend the rest of my life?' 'Do I not deserve to be happy?' 'When did I give up on myself and life?' As I begun this train of questions it sparked my anger and I further looked at what I have been doing.  Years wasted, opportunities missed, love lost, etc....it almost drove me back to the depression pit but I held unto my anger and further cultivated it.  Last thing I asked myself was 'If I don't like this shit, what was I willing to do about it?'

So by firmly using my anger I focused on the villain of my story, depression itself.  I hate depression.  I loathe depression.  It has cost me a lot of time and happiness.   So I am saying FU depression! you are not gonna get the best of me.  You will not dictate the rest of my life.  Slowly I have begun to change small things in my life.  Routines and such things.  It is hard to break habits years in the making but I am angry and determined.  The battle we all face is a tough one and our enemy is cerebral and unmerciful.  I for one will give it my best shot to defeat this ahole because I am worth it and so are all of you.  No matter the methods I wish all of you the best of luck in fighting this fight and hope we all succeed.  Hit me up if you need someone to listen to you, even if its just to rant or rave at the world.  Sometimes it helps to just shout at the world :)

@tamara1 I can understand and feel your pain. I have to many times felt and have attempted to take my life more then once. But there is something I realized that I never understood. I am here for a reason. So are You. I know life feels bleak or even worse like a  bird in a cage hitting against the  Hard cold bars with broken wings  bleeding. But You Are here for a reason. You are loved

It's the excitement and thrill that's all. That will where off. Then he will realize the kids are the one who got hurt. Mean time he is sleeping with many partners. There is always a price to pay.. I feel if you are going to do that at least be honest so you can protect you from diseases and the financial burden. This is why I don't get involved my wife influenced me into the military and the union. Payed for her x funeral 

I feel just like most of you do.  My life only consists of me and my 2 dogs.  I have no one else to help me get better.  I just want to die and each night I pray to God that he takes me, but every morning here I am starting another day all alone

When we are at this point. We never think we will get better. I know I won't. Iam 48 just waiting to die. Been waiting along time. It sucks. Is selfish to want to be out of this pain. Its hard when you have people that love you and don't want to lose you. And you just think you will never get out of this depression .