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I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

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I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

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Tamra1

05/08/2018 at 4:23 AM

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Tamra1

Last activity on 08/18/2024 at 3:01 PM

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19 comments posted | 16 in the Depression Forum

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Yes, I now saw your problem, but unfortunately I could not see any more or less suitable solution for your situation. Apparently, you are starting to have a deep depression, and one of the best ways to get out of this state is considered to be high-quality cannabis from a dispensary.

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firefly444

11/18/2021 at 11:22 PM

firefly444

Last activity on 07/01/2022 at 1:08 AM

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12 comments posted | 12 in the Depression Forum

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I've been inpatient and outpatient for 6 months as bipolar with horrific anxiety and PTSD to the point I don't know how to live anymore. The highs and lows are unbearable.

I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk https://www.carenity.us/forum/depression/living-with-depression/i-really-dont-feel-like-living-need-support-and-to-talk-128 2021-11-18 23:22:20

TaoPeace

11/19/2021 at 5:52 PM

TaoPeace

Last activity on 04/22/2023 at 10:45 AM

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8 comments posted | 8 in the Depression Forum

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@firefly444 I'm a mess. Bipolar, manic depression, Anxiety, PTSD. I hate myself.

I have never done inpatient. We have chickens and goats on acreage. I try not to leave.

Most of my issue is my past. I know we should move on but as you well know it's easier said than done.

firefly444

11/19/2021 at 6:13 PM

firefly444

Last activity on 07/01/2022 at 1:08 AM

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Believe me, I get it. The past can feel like it's ripping you into pieces. But believe it or not, emotions cannot actually hurt you. They're not good or bad, they just are. I think it's what you choose to do with those emotions. I'm trying to figure it out myself. I have no love for myself on the surface, but I know it's there...somewhere. Trying to find and understand my true self is half the battle.

Is there anyone else that can take care of the animals if you go to a day support group for a couple weeks such as PHP (partial hospitalization program)? You get to leave every day and it's Monday - Friday. That's what I did after being inpatient. I think it would help you as it helped me as I was much more of a mess than I am now. Just a thought.

DAHCAH

11/20/2021 at 1:29 AM

DAHCAH

Last activity on 06/02/2023 at 3:36 AM

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Do not let depression overcome you, dear one.

TaoPeace

11/20/2021 at 11:20 PM

TaoPeace

Last activity on 04/22/2023 at 10:45 AM

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@DAHCAH I don't let it. It's just stronger than I am.

TaoPeace

11/21/2021 at 12:04 AM

TaoPeace

Last activity on 04/22/2023 at 10:45 AM

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@firefly444 The day program sounds appealing. I could swing something like that.

I just don't see an end to my depression 😕.

Honestly I'm a horrible person. Not a criminal but an emotional train reck.

I'm not important but to a few. I've made so many bad decisions.

I've treated women.. good women like shit. I've had it all.

It took a long time for me to realize porn had significantly influenced my expectations sexually. Very unrealistic expectations. I bought into it. I chased it for about 30 years.. Por n free 15 months now.

spiritguide

11/21/2021 at 7:45 AM

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spiritguide

Last activity on 02/03/2022 at 5:03 PM

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Never give up .

spiritguide

11/21/2021 at 7:46 AM

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spiritguide

Last activity on 02/03/2022 at 5:03 PM

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I would be happy to talk to anyone who is suffering

firefly444

11/21/2021 at 12:33 PM

firefly444

Last activity on 07/01/2022 at 1:08 AM

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@TaoPeace‍ Sorry you feel this way, I understand how hard it can be to move on. Just think of how great of a person you can be today and every day after that. I would say forget the past but I struggle with it myself. Congrats on your new found freedom! That's a big deal!

I've been up since 2am thinking of how much of a bad person I am for being so selfish over the years. How I've driven my wife and kids through my own he'll with my anxiety and depression. I do everything to not think of my final exit. It's just so difficult. The only thing I look forward to anymore is sleep, but I can't even do that. Everyday I think of how much better their life would be without me in it, even though my wife would say otherwise. I feel worthless.

TaoPeace

11/21/2021 at 1:06 PM

TaoPeace

Last activity on 04/22/2023 at 10:45 AM

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@firefly444 it sounds like we deal with some of the same things.

One of my issues is my age. I'm 52, I just don't feel there is enough time. I am a heart transplant recipient 8+ years. The transplant reduces my life expectancy to my early 60s. There is a chance I do well and live longer but who knows. Or.. who wants to.

I wouldn't care if tomorrow was my last day. I'm tired. Tired of it all.

My name is Dave by the way, I live in Missouri and am retired.

I try not to be around people much. We live on 10 very secluded acres and I should love life, but I don't.

All I want is to feel good and love my family but the fist often gets in the way.

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I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

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