I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

@jam8500 please don’t give up! Please keep fighting if this is enough.. I love you ❤️.. I have had the worst life I can imagine. But I trust God and his words. Please cast all your cares to God.. Please trust him.. when I let the pain of life go. I began to Life and love ?.. hold on to your faith.. he is omnipotent! Trust him

No matter how much I want to believe some one is there, I am unable to allow my self to give in. So many times I have tried and was shunned away. What will make this time any different? Will there ever be a difference? I had allowed my self to shut down and become isolated. I trust no one and I push anyone away that tries. I'm so tired of this life and the pain it has caused. I used to have faith, but I was taught God would never put more on us than we can handle. The only thing that goes through my head when I think of God, what have I done so horribly wrong to deserve this? Does he even still walk with me and help carry this burden bc I feel buried alive with the light dimming each and everyday. I don't want to quit fighting. I don't want to lose the light, but it seems to be fading faster than I can fight. I want to know what it means to be normal again. I want to know happiness and love but how can someone love this when I can't even love myself. 

@Avasad We all experience sadness in different ways. Being shy and feeling awkward doesn't help I know. But don't give up. You still have a lot of life ahead of you. You need to find purpose, some activities you enjoy. Maybe if you get involved in some activities you can find friends with similar interests.

If you need someone to talk to about your thoughts of suicide please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline:1-800-273-8255. They have trained volunteers 24 hours everyday. Your life does matter.

@Lynettsirry I know it may not seem like it now but God does love you. I know what you mean about not getting more than we can handle. The thing we forget is that God has not abandoned us. We don't understand or like things going on in our lives but these trials are temporary. These feelings of confusion and doubt are not from God. We need to trust Him. Pray for help. Ask Him to send someone you can trust and who will listen. Don't give up.

I’ve been there too. It was part of my survey. I’m alone now. Family doesn’t even want to deal with it. 

You guys have to hold on to God, it speaks of when Man fails us God is there. God knows your strength better than you.. God want Bold people at the throne, not weak people.. so at some point we have to walk with him and get quite enough to hear him.. trust me he loves everyone and God never said it will be easy! Just trust the process... read your Bible daily and constantly ask God for renewing of the mind 

@Lynettsirry God will never put more on us than we can handle ... if we realize we aren't doing it alone. We sometimes forget we need Him or people He puts in our lives. It's not easy and people let us down sometimes. The enemy, Satan, wants us defeated, deceived and feeling hopeless. We may not see light at the end of the tunnel right now but we need to keep trusting God ...

What do you two think about people who cave? Who either attempt or succeed at suicide? Other than leaning on God especially if evil is messing with your life (and I’m not talking about anything you can probably imagine and it’s not minor, or health related)?

sometimes it takes a village. Sometimes medication is necessary. Often counseling is helpful ... neither of which is weak. After all it’s our brains that came up with medicines and psychological practices and sometimes you need that help. Some people don’t believe in God. I’m not one of them but I utilize everything at hand. Stigma for mental illness has been around forever. Please don’t tell people “to just deal with it”. 

AMEN

I dont blame people who have never had severe depression for making suggestions based on their experiences bc they really will never know what its like to lose hope and will to live. In any other disease or human tragedy the person always has a will to fight and overcome the affliction but what happens when there is no fight left? What happens when the inner spirit of a person is void and empty with no connection to this world?  To say this is a matter of being strong vs weak is what is keeping us in the dark ages when it comes to truly understanding this horrific disease. Science has already proven it is hereditary and it exists.  Let's not oversimplify this by just saying you have to be "strong" or "move on". I know you wouldn't walk into a cancer center and tell those people to just deal with it so why do it here?  Depression is a life long battle that as of today has no cure in sight. The struggle to the depressed person is not to get ahead or constantly be happy. The struggle is to find some shred of motivation to even take your next breath. Try living every second of your life with no hope for tomorrow or no hope for normalcy. You feel alone, isolated, and on the sidelines while everyone else lives their lives with purpose and meaning.  People who live with depression our true warriors bc we fight for meaning in our lives, to stay connected with loved ones, and to simply get out of bed, etc.