I really don't feel like living - need support and to talk

It never seems to get better. I try to better myself and something always comes back and slaps me in the face. I have become more isolated. I don't like answering the phone or replying back to texts. It is like I just want everyone to leave me alone so I can die in peace. I'm in my late 20's, with two girls. I work and attend school full time. I should feel some kind of accomplishment but I feel nothing. I do not like feeling these way bc it has gone on far to long. I do not know what to do or where to turn. I have hard time making friends bc I have trust issues. I feel as if everyone will hurt me like before, so I don't make friends or I push them away quickly. I have been dealing with, or pushing my depression to the back burner for so long, it is just overwhelming. I do not want to wake up and when I do every morning, I do nothing but cry.

@Ashleym i feel you right now stuck with my fiance' family and theyre hateful all the time i seriously wish we could move out but we can't even make ends meet as it is

@Heartache im so sorry if you need to talk message me @tamramock30gmail.com

@Lynettsirry my fiance doesnt understand how hard it is to just keep exsisting most days if im off work i dont want to hang out with friendsi just want to sleep all the time

@Tamra1‍, yes. There is no one I know that understands how this feels. You try to explain it and they look out you like your crazy and need to be locked away. I have even tried to talk to my parents, it hurts when your own blood tells you they don't want to hear it but your perfectly ok. No, I'm not okay. I would not be crying out to someone I trusted for help if I was ok. They do not understand the thoughts that run through my head daily and nightly. They do not know how I feel. They can not see the way u view this world and they act like they don't care either. People do not understand how hard it is to even drive a car up the road when nothing seems to matter. You see everything as a way to end this pain. It is tiring fighting the battles I fight every minute. Do I want to hurt the ones I care about? Of course I do not want to hurt them, but it also feels like you hurt being alive bc your not there emotional for them when they need it. I don't even feel human. I'm just warm flesh that continues to breath even though I am dead inside. If only someone was there to see from my eyes and feel how I feel then maybe someone would understand. Maybe they would quit shrugging me away. 

@Lynettsirry ive never heard anyone describe it that perfectly before you get tired of hearing " i dont want to hear it" and "im too stressed out to deal with you" or my personal fd up favorite " people out there are worse off than you" like i understand than but we're supposed to be family and close we should be able to confide in one another and when we cant it makes you feel so alone like no one cares when all you do is try to be there for everyone else and for what? So they cant treat you as though you don't matter. Well im always here for you

@Tamra1‍ Thank you and it is awful when u can't turn to the ones you trust bc they have "better" things to do. I have been alone for so long I would not know what to do with myself. I am here for anyone here. I know it would be great to have some release, especially to someone who knows how you truly feel.

Hey, I see many have replied to this. If like to help, maybe be a friend if that's all I could do. 

I'm a teenager. I know I'm probably "too young" for this site officially, but I really need help!!! I hate my life. I want to die. Nobody would notice if I died. They wouldn't care. Why get up in the morning...? Because I don't have a choice!!! When my sister dropped out of school, they didn't say a word. She dropped out because the school was too religious for her, and the kids were "too clicky". But me? This year is hell at school and at home, but does anyone care?? My "parents" know I hate school. If I stay home even one day, my "dad" freaks out, even if it's for my period. At school, I'm quiet, shy, no friends... I just moved in August 2017, and it's so hard for me!!! I want to go home!!!!! At home, I had so many friends, (or I thought I did...), I was loud, (not popular tho), and I was able to be myself. Here, the second I step out of my house, (or maybe when I leave my bed), I shut off emotionally. I can't feel anything, I can't talk normally, I'm socially-awkward, and I have social-anxiety. Nobody understands me. My therapist thinks I'm just naturally socially-awkward. She doesnt know the real me. Nobody does. I just want all of this shit to end. I don't care how... if I do go to hell for killing myself, I know hell is a lot better than hell on earth!!!

I am struggling with depression but I have found two ways that help. A lot of this depends on how you feel about God and faith and stuff. And even with my faith I still struggle with depression. First, is trusting that the Lord has a purpose AND WAITING for it to be revealed - that's the hard part. Second, while you are waiting for things to change HELP SOMEONE ELSE. Believe it or not, when you help others in need, it will help you. Volunteer. Help a neighbor who cannot cut their grass or do things for themselves. Once you find a purpose, you will find that your depression isn't as bad as it was before. Meds help sometimes, but not always.