What were the first symptoms you experienced?

I never really knew... I just kept thinking I was going through and struggling with depression and that is why I sought out a doctor. But once I was diagnosed and the doctor explained to me the condition, it was so clear... I had always had such highs and then such lows since I can remember.

I was diagnosed 2 years ago and still trying to best manage my condition. I am now 34.

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Come join in on one of our newest discussions on what were your initial signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder? What made you seek out a doctor/counselor? How old were you at diagnosis?

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@Lee__R I was hospitalized numerous times as a preteen & teenager for depression and anxiety. The older I got the more manic episodes I had and that's when my psychiatrist who I've been seeing since I was 12 noticed my symptoms were different. I went through a very traumatic event when I was 19. I was finally put on proper medication for bi polar disorder and I also stopped heavily drinking. I'm now 22 and haven't had a manic episode in a few years

I had mild ups and downs throughout childhood.  Just thought that was life.  Did well in High School with my grades.  In College I was extremely happy and restless and couldn't concentrate on my studies.  I would take tests without ever having read any of the books I was supposed to.  All I did was go to class and listen.  I couldn't concentrate long enough to read.  Somehow I got by.  Then my sophomore year I felt suicidal at times.  Thought about taking a bottle of pills.  But same thing somehow I got by my sophomore year.  My Junior year I made it only half way through.  I went to my final exams and wrote my name on all the tests and nothing else and passed them in.  I abruptly dropped out of school.  I went home and cried everyday for months.  It only got worse from there.  Then I started having strange thoughts and behavior.  Drank more and slept around some-one night stands. It got to the point that I decided I was going to go and live on the streets of NYC because NOBODY understood me.  I started having religious delusions and racing thoughts.  I felt like there were messages meant especially for me coming from everywhere.  Luckily I didn't drive to NYC and live on the streets.  I was so out of control and afraid.  I told my Dad to take me to the Hospital because there was something wrong with my head.  The rest is History.  I am bipolar I and I have been hospitalized several times.  I don't drink or do drugs but I had a big problem with smoking for a long time and periods of denial.  Thinking that the doctors were all wrong.  Now I have spiritually and faith in my life.  I look for comfort in simple things.  My mantra about life is "Keep it in the middle".  I don't like to go to extremes over anything.  I still struggle sometimes with concentration and focus.  I really had to search for the hobbies and activities that work for me.  This is a lifelong illness that I have to take medication for.  But it's more than just taking medication.  You have to find what works for you.. For me that has been a process.  I could write on and on for hours.  But I won't (ha,ha).  Feel free to ask me any questions if you want.

Oh this is Laurie Ford again.  I was about 22 when I was diagnosed.

@Lee__R I was 12 years old, I'm 24 now.

I guess I showed symptoms as a child I was always in a panic and aggressive, I would rip out my hair to the point I had bald patches everywhere. I was physically aggressive to my smaller brother, I broke his arms a few times for no reason, or killed his fishes. So my mom isolated me from them instead of finding me help, I was hospitalized at 12 forced by my school because I began self harming because I just didn't want to hurt anyone and I didn't know how else to release the anger and sadness I felt. My first symptom was hearing voices and seeing things, I would hear people calling me or see people standing in the corner of my room, I still do, but I learned to block them out by blasting music.

I had hypothyroidism as a teen and remember crying every night because of being bullied. My weight has been an issue my entire life. I had my daughter at 22 and she was almost 2 when I was diagnosed. At first I was diagnosed major depressive. I started going to a new doctor and have been diagnosed bipolar with borderline personality disorder.I know very little about both. My personality has changed and I fight with my head daily. It has gotten to the point I shake like a leaf daily from anxiety.

Hi. My name is Kit. ( Birdsrhea). I have had mental health issues since I was 9. I use to lay in the bath tub and cry and pray God would just kill me. I did things I am not proud of like lying, sleeping around, drinking, etc. I am a preachers kid which made my life very hard. I was teased and tormented so I would act out alot. I loved singing and I tried to live a better life even after I got married but I just failed everyone's expectations. My husbands , my sons, my parents, my siblings. I love left my husband in 2007 after a home invasion and assault. I heard voices and saw heads coming out of the walls was scared but  ok until 2008 and I was hospitalized 7 times in 6 hospitals.  I was 50 and was diagnosed schizo typal but on my 2 ND hospital stay they said no you are bipolar. Your mood swings are extreme. I was also diagnosed with PTSD, social anxiety, psychotic features. All on the same admission. Ive had EMDR for the trauma I suffered. But my bipolar is what's really been rough on me especially after losing my Mama and husband ( who committed suicide)  this year. I'm on Geodon, Invega, Wellbutrin, hydroxyzine, Paxil, Remeron, I'm getting ready to be put on lithium. I also have other meds I take (13 to be exact). 

I knew I had symptoms when I was grade school. I just felt different. This continued into high school. I even saw the school psychologist. Nothing was said.  I continued like this until I was 30.  Finally I checked myself into the hospital.  I was finally diagnosed with bipolar. I was so relived that I was not making it up. It still was a battle and I fight everyday. Especially now. I am so up and down. When I'm down I am paralysed. Any suggestions on what you all do to get out of this terrible funk. I am in an intensive outpatient group. This is helping a great deal. It's the weekends that hit me hard.

My manic episodes began after the trauma of losing my father to suicide (he was also diagnosed with bipolar disorder) when I was 16. I never knew at the time that I was having episodes, I too just believed that these highs and lows were something that every high school age kid experienced. But at times I would have severe mental breakdowns, or snapping points is what I thought of them. It wasn’t until I faced tremendous loss at the beginning of January, 2020 all in the same week. it sent me into the most severe manic episode I’ve ever yet experienced. I was acting like I was high... like on meth. But 100% sober. My mom kept accusing me of being high on somthing and I was just crying in frustration trying to explain to her that I wasn’t. I wasn’t sleeping for days on end and was staying up all night writing these awful short stories, and poetry that was barely even English at all. My sense of self-esteem was so heightened at the time that I even sent it to a lot of people. Really important people, like my musical theater director. I thought I made really good pieces of literature and god was speaking through me giving me this sudden ability to write pages upon pages. I go back and read them now, and it sounds like something that was written why an entirely different writer altogether. I would just go on the longest rants ever and not get to the point quickly at all. I would text my friends essay responses to their texts that were unwarranted and way too detailed. Coming down from that high and reaching one of  the lowest points I had ever come to made me choose to get on medication for my depression. This was the point that I started to suspect that I was bipolar and told my doctor my symptoms . They prescribed me abilify first which was so crippling it made me so sedated I couldn’t even stand up, then Zoloft that also made me severely fatigued and not functional and way more depressed, and then finally arriving at wellbeautrin, which also just so happens to treat bipolar disorder as well. And ADHD which I also have. I’ve been able to think much more clearly ever since and realize just how odd the things I did were when I was manic. And I’m still pretty full of regret about them. This medication has been a totally miracle for me though in how much improvement I have had since day one on it and I am not on 7 months on it. I was diagnosed at age 22 and now 23. Has anyone else experienced manic episodes similar to mine? What are some of the things that you guys did in a manic episode that made you or a loved one realize that something wasn’t right?