Let's talk about bipolar disorder

@Courtney_J I was diagnosed in my late teens. I think I had many years of undiagnosed depression, but it wasn't until I started having long periods of deep depression where I wouldn't be able to do anything but stay in bed and watch TV and life just didn't feel worthwhile. And in between I'd have periods where everything seemed perfect and I would be full of energy (when in reality I wasn't sleeping because I would be bouncing off the walls of my room at night working on projects). Finally when my parents really saw what I was going through they pushed me into the doctors and therapy and I was diagnosed with bipolar II. It's been many years now and I've had my ups and my downs. 

I've been like this since I was a little kid and I highly doubt I will ever change, I can be very obssessive and it gets BAD.

I have had depression since I was 9 yo. I use to cry that God would take me. But he never did. I was officially diagnosed at age 41. I had many ups and downs and many rapid cycling of both and I always knew something wAs off but couldn't figure it out until I had a major depressive episode that landed me in the hospital. And I had 6 more admissions to finally diagnosed me with bi polar. I also have PTSD, Social Anxiety and I have some psychotic features. I hear voices. And have other issues but I'm on medication and now they are changing meds on me and I'm not sure what they'll put me on. 

I have had depression since I was 9 yo. I use to cry that God would take me. But he never did. I was officially diagnosed at age 41. I had many ups and downs and many rapid cycling of both and I always knew something wAs off but couldn't figure it out until I had a major depressive episode that landed me in the hospital. And I had 6 more admissions to finally diagnosed me with bi polar. I also have PTSD, Social Anxiety and I have some psychotic features. I hear voices. And have other issues but I'm on medication and now they are changing meds on me and I'm not sure what they'll put me on. 

I was officially diagnosed when I was around 29 years old but I waited a full year before I would agree to taking any medication. When I finally took medication it was lithium and it just changed my life. I always had a much bigger problem with depression, oh, I am bipolar ll, and many years later in my life I was diagnosed with PTSD and psychosis does go hand in hand with bipolar disorder and a couple of therapists have thought that I had a personality disorder NOS that means not otherwise specific that means you have some traits of the defined personality disorders but not enough to be placed in that category so you're not otherwise specific. I also am a very intuitive person and a very observant person and I think I'm can see I don't know a lot of things in other people that most people can't see and this is not a mental illness this is intuitiveness which doesn't become a little confusing when I hear a voice in my head but now we've got that kind of straightened out where I know 90% of that time that the voice in my head says something I should listen to it because it is correct. Anyway the road I have traveled has had several obstacles in it it has been good and bad I guess but I sometimes wonder what what I could have accomplished had I not had this mental illness and all that goes with it. Then I remember that I firmly believe there is a reason for everything and that God has a plan which we usually can't see can't see. My greatest love in life is God though I am not religious but I am spiritual and I have just had some spiritual experiences that I I think I have more spiritual capabilities inside of me but I just haven't touched them yet. So much to do at one time time overwhelming sometimes okay that is my story I'm open to questions or anything I got a lot of therapy behind me most therapists aren't that good but there are some really good ones and got a really good insight into my own personal condition let's say. Merry Christmas and I hope you all find some peace for yourself. Bye now!

Today is the anniversary of the first time I attempted suicide. 

@Suzanne60 I just want to say something, medication is not the answer to your problems. That is how you get addicted and dependent on a drug. It may help, but it's not healthy. 

@Suzanne60 I believe in therapy and medication. I found I need it to function every day. I don't get addicted to drugs. I take only what is necessary. Medication can be a good thing. The only reason I'm not on Lithium is because it depletes your sodium levels in your blood. Im taking Lamictal. It's such a low dose now it doesn't do anything yet but I'm hopeful. My cousin is also bi.polar and she takes meds too but a lot less then I do. Just know medications are helpful as long as it's not abused. God bless

@Kenzie22 thanks for your comments but I take lithium and I have for about 30 years now and it saved my life. It stopped my mood swings mostly depression and enabled me to take care of other areas of my life. I am not addicted to it it enables me to live and stable ground. I would never dream of stopping it and I thank God for it. But again thank you for your thoughts. 

@Suzanne60 Well, that's good that you aren't addicted. I was just saying that from what I've been through and seen with my people, but don't think I was judging or anything cause I wasn't. I was just pointing that out. Seems like you have everything under control though.