What were the first symptoms you experienced?

@Lee__R My first symptoms of Bipolar 1 was that I wouldn’t sleep for days and I started getting hallucinations both visual and auditory. Typically after I slept and came down from my manic episode, I would fall into a depression episode. All I would do was sleep, but if I was awake I was extremely irritable, short with people, and occasionally I would be filled with rage for unknown reasons and I would essentially black out and had no clue I was being so hostile until my depression leveled out and people told me what I had done or said. This went on for about 3 years. 

At this point I decided to talk to my doctor to see what was going on with these major manic and depressive episodes. He asked a bunch of questions and ultimately diagnosed me with Bipolar 1. I was 35 when I was officially diagnosed. 

My doctor prescribed me Zyprexa. I took it regularly for close to a year and since I’d only had 1 or 2 manic or depressive episodes, that I was “cured” and stopped taking Zyprexa. 

I was mostly stable during my break from Zyprexa, but slowly but surely, my manic episodes came back 10x worse than before I was medicated. The straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back was when I had not slept in 6 days. I started having major hallucinations of bugs crawling on the floor, the walls, in my bed... everywhere. Then I started having auditory hallucinations on top of the visual ones. I could hear the sound of a TV and radio in our upstairs loft clear as day while I was downstairs. The sounds were either the TV or radio playing the news or a sports game. However, there was no TV or radio upstairs. I was convinced that we had a spirit in our house. But the worst hallucinations came when I felt bugs crawling on me and some of the bugs had burrowed underneath my skin and I saw these bugs pushing their way out. I was completely hysterical. 

After calling my parents In hysterics, they decided to go behind both my back and my husband’s back and they sent me to a mental hospital on a 72 hour hold. The doctors did an assessment on me and they agreed that I had Bipolar 1. They started me back on Zyprexa. I had started to come down from my manic episode while waiting to be admitted so after my assessment, I went to my room and slept for the better part of two days. 

After being released, I got my prescription for Zyprexa filled. From that day on, I’ve never missed a dose. Over the past year, I had several breakthrough manic episodes that lasted a few days. I decided to get some mental health counseling and to also speak with a psychiatrist to make sure I was getting the medications that would make my episodes few and far between. Talk therapy has helped quite a bit and my psychiatrist added the mood stabilizer, Lamictal. It really helped me by evening out my mood. 

My GP already had me on Xanax for my chronic anxiety disorder and Celexa for my major depressive disorder. With all of these medications working together, I’ve only had a manic episode twice and they didn’t last as long and were far apart. My depressive episodes came less often as well

I know that I would not be here today if it wasn’t for my medications, talk therapy, and my psychiatrist. 

@Brooke2329 your message or post was the first time I've heard somebody verbalize how bipolar affects me. I, as well, was accused of drug use. Hell , it actually made me feel like I was on something. I couldn't keep my legs from jerking, I was fidgeting and constantly moving either my feet or my hands or some part of my body.

The moment that broke the camel's back came after four and a half nights without sleep. One of my best friends is a nurse and tried to get me in psychiatric facility on a Saturday, that's how bad my symptoms were. To make a long story short, I was told no vacancies at any of the facilities. I decided to take matters into my own hands and I called the EMTs and told them I felt like I didn't want to live anymore.

I did, in fact, want to live. I knew that would make them have to come and get me. What I really meant was I could not continue to live this way anymore. I ended up spending 5 days on the psych ward, upon which I was diagnosed as bipolar mania. I started latuda and it has made a humongous difference in my life. I was also prescribed four doses of 5 mg of Valium a day. I'll be honest, however, I only take one in the afternoon and two before bedtime. But that is my story, hope you enjoyed it LOL

I wasn't diagnosed till my mid 20s I always was excitable easy and felt different but had a very sheltered child hood then high school and boys and drugs started. I was shocked when I was diagnosed but family was like y that makes sense. I had shallow swings and wasn't treated for almost 11 years. It was just how I was . I had a bad addiction to drugs it took over many years. 3 years ago I started taking antidepressants and it sent me manic hard. I didn't know what was happening thought I was going crazy. Probably should of been hospitalized but didn't tell anyone used drugs to cope after 6 years clean. I lost everything and put myself in rehab yet again and forced them to help me get meds. I am struggling through but I do it I take meds I help others get help and I take it one day at a time.

Earlier, I had wrote how latuda was a lifesaver for me. However, after being on it for a year, I have noticed differences in my behavior that I dislike. I never feel extremely sad and I never feel extremely happy. People tell me it's going to take a while for me to adjust to the continuity of what life is supposed to be. Somewhere inside, though, I feel like it's strictly coming from the medicine. At first, all I wanted to do was come off the latuda. In speaking with my family, though, they were adamantly against it. I guess they can see on the outside better than what I can see on the inside. It is through their encouragement that I plan to stay on the latuda. I guess what I have to do is relearn how to live life without living in bipolar.

@Lee__R mine was depression server after my dad committed suicide that destroyed me I was 9 years old it affects me till this day and I'm am bipolar ptsd depression anxiety and panic attacks

@Brooke2329 I knew I needed help after my mum passed away in 2016 I gambled away 36 thousand dollars in less than month I just gambled no sleep just work and the casino I needed help